Climbing Into God's Lap

You know what I love to do? Pray.

Oh, I talk to God all the time, and when He puts someone into my mind out of the blue, I know they need a prayer right then and there, so I talk to God about them no matter what else I was doing. And I ask His opinion on things, and as I go through tasks He continually gets His hands right in there with mine to make things go smoothly. His presence is always apparent to me in a very real way.

There are also times when I fall prostrate - spiritually if not physically - and let my broken heart bleed all over his nail-scarred hands. Always, He listens, lets me rant or sob or just cry out to Him for mercy or grace or healing. And I know that He answers, because either He provides what I asked for, or a calm acceptance when He provides what I didn't know I needed. Either way, His hands heal my brokenness.

But there are also special times, when I just want to be His. Those are times when I climb into his lap, which is plenty big enough to hold even me, and lean on Him, and just talk about things. I talk about people who have needs or have asked for prayer or who I just think need talking about. I chatter about the things that would cause anybody's eyes to glaze over with boredom, and I share the secrets that He already knows but that I need to talk about anyway. This is also where I repent and seek mercy, and where I allow myself to feel awestruck by His love for me.

The God Who created everything that was made, Who wove together my parts in my mother's womb, Who sought me out when I refused to acknowledge His existence, and Who keeps the planets on course...the God of Scripture...this is the God who cares so deeply about me that his arms are always open to me, no matter what...and I always will have a place there.

And so can we all. We have the great opportunity to read the greatest Love Story ever written, and through it to know its Author in a more intimate way than we have a right to. But His love for us shines through, and He offers each one of us adoption into His family to become joint heirs with Christ...and to secure a spot on His lap forever and always...

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Computers...Part II

First of all, Pete has his laptop back - YAY!

Second, I'm full-time on the desktop now. And I can see where, for the last few years, I've lost some things on the laptop. For example, the colors are brighter and the graphics are sharper. And, of course, the sound is much better even though I'm using dinky little speakers. Still, it is a more satisfying experience when it comes to graphics and music.

Third, I'm excited that Pete has resolved my "hunching over the end table" issue! When we lived in Lansing (MI) and used our dining room as an office, I had my desktop set up on a 5' conference table. Good height, plenty of space for my printer, speakers, and whatever else I needed. But I had forgotten all about those tables. He remembered, and when Casey is here to help we will move my desktop back onto a conference table. The birds will like is also, as I'll be able to set up a play area right next to me again...although they really spend more time ON me, actually... And I'll be able to sit in a more comfortable chair rather than this stool!

So that's all good.

Fourth, I ended up deleting Thunderbird. It was definitely promising, but I couldn't figure out how to get my passwords for all of my owly.net email accounts entered, and after spending half the night trying to find the answer in their docs and elsewhere online, I gave up. So I'm back to using OE again. It has its problems and I still hate it, but at least it's familiar. I used to use Eudora, 15+ years ago...maybe I'll try that again...

It's been 3½ years since I got a laptop and stopped using a desktop on a regular basis, and already I'm finding that there are a lot of good things about it! I may just get a netbook when the time is right, and stick with this one for home use.

(BTW, this is an eMachine that I bought 2nd-hand from one of Casey's friends; apparently she'd used it for her homeschooling mostly. The model is T3985 if you're interested, but it has lots of USB ports which are a blessing, and I love that I can plug in my headphones/mic/whatever into the front of the CPU! Very nice for my purposes! Plus, since I don't move it around, I can keep my WD external HD plugged in for easy backups and file storage/access!)

So all is well, there's a happy ending, and I'm really feeling blessed!

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Computers! Can't live with 'em...

We are admittedly rather geeky in our family. Personally, I have - or did have - the laptop that has been my Main Machine for 3½ years (Pete & I have had identical ones), plus the desktop that I use mainly with my Yamaha PSR-9000Pro keyboard, and of course "N8" (Nate), my Nokia N810 Internet Tablet and constant companion.

So when the display on my laptop failed a couple of weeks ago, I wasn't overly worried since I still had 2 other computers. Still, after Pete messed around with the laptop and announced that it was fixed, I was elated! Most of my online time was spent, after all, during my down times in my recliner: while having my morning coffee/tea, while waiting for pain pills to take effect or during lunch or whatever during the day, or in the evenings.

My joy was short-lived, however, when Pete told me a few days later that he hadn't been able to fix my laptop, so he had simply replaced his own hard drive with mine in his machine! It didn't seem right to me that I still had my desktop or N8 to use but he only had his own N810. So I spent Saturday copying all of my files to my WD external HD that I use for backups, and exporting my browser and email files. By Sunday afternoon I had everything onto the WD and could start copying essential files onto my desktop. Music and videos and photos I could leave, since the WD stays plugged into to desktop all the time, used as a secondary drive for file storage anyway...

By late Sunday/early today I was done and almost ready to let Pete take his laptop back and put own HD back into it. All of my browser files and settings were nicely imported, and ditto for my Outlook Express settings and email folders...EXCEPT for the Inbox and Sent Items folders. For some reason these 2 kept showing up empty!

To make a long story short here, I'll just say that I downloaded, installed, tried, and uninstalled more OE utilities than you can imagine, and consulted numerous techie websites. Google got a real workout! I imported and copied over these 2 files a dozen times at least, deleting the folders.dbx file each time before restarting OE, and nothing! All of my other folders were fine, so it made no sense to me...and it still doesn't.

But finally, after 7 hours hunched over the keyboard (since it isn't used very much, the desktop is on a low end table), I got those last 2 files into OE by copying them from my HD in Pete's laptop onto a memory stick, moving the stick to the desktop, deleting the originally-copied-from-the-WD-drive files from the identity folder where the OE stores are kept plus the folders.dbx file of course, and starting OE again. And it worked! I can't imagine why 76 folders imported properly and 2 didn't, or why the same identical files worked from the stick but not from the WD drive...but it did and I guess that's all that matters.

I've had a love-hate relationship with OE for a decade or more. So the last thing I did was install the Mozilla Thunderbird email client (I use the Flock browser, based upon the Mozilla Firefox browser) and import my mailboxes and address book into that. My OE days are done.

So now I'll be using N8 (as I am right now), or hunched over my desktop toget online...but I'm thankful I have thm, and that Pete can now have his own computer back to get online again! Come to think of it, it does seem a little obscenely greedy to have 3 computers...

:)

An AMAZING Video...

Pete found this today...really powerful stuff!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqMWvNlMo-4

In It, Not Of It

I've had this whole issue of being "in the world but not of the world" in my heart for quite some time now. I haven't arranged my thoughts in any cohesive pattern yet, and - as when we pray - they are mostly sensed rather than articulated in language. I just have things in my heart that I feel a need to write about...

My heart hurts deeply for people around me, people that I love, that God loves and for whom His love overflows through me, who are going through painful and difficult times in their lives. I want to talk to them about hope, and about trust, and share the things that give me comfort: that since I gave my life to God, He has control of all circumstances and outcomes; and that since He is my Creator, who knows me better than I know myself and has a special purpose for my life, I don't have to worry about why certain things happen, or what my future will hold, or how I can make things better. It is all His, and He has never let me down or caused me to stumble (although I've tripped myself up more than I care to remember!). But for someone who is of the vague "prayer works" mindset but really has no trust or commitment to God, who casually mentions "sending up prayers" but still maintains control of their own lives, and who has no 24/7 relationship with God through Christ - they don't, can't, get true comfort, and even joy, in the midst of their trials. To someone that's not in that "I am His and He is mine" relationship by the grace of God (not our own efforts) through the blood of Christ (opening up the door that sin had closed)...there can be no hope or comfort. The comfort the world offers is empty, how could I offer that to hurting people?

So what is the answer? God has it: "Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself, and our God and Father, who has loved us and given us everlasting consolation and good hope by grace, comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work." 2 Thess. 2:16-17. Compare that to Job 21:34 “How then can you comfort me with empty words, since falsehood remains in your answers?” and you can see what I mean. "There, there now, things will get better" is so meaningless, once you've experienced, "But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 12:26-27. WOW!

This world will pass away, everything here is temporary. Those who are living for it can find no comfort in it. As much as that hurts my heart, I know that it hurts God's more, He loves every single one of His creation with a love we can't even begin to understand! So many, even among Christians, love the world more than the Kingdom, as is evidenced by their fear of death and the mindset, even in believers, of life (quantity of years on earth) at any cost. Why? Our time here is just the blink of an eye, just a tiny speck in an eternity that is bigger than the universe. Whether we are called Home when we're 40 or when we're 90, isn't going Home what it's all about? Working for the Kingdom (not our 401K or our retirement or a bigger house and 2 cars) while we're here, and when our work is done, to be rewarded by an eternity spent with the One we love and serve...there is great comfort in that!

That's what Jesus' words in John 17 are all about. We're here to share God's bounty of love, blessing, joy, and life with the world, but it's not about living here, it's not about prosperity or worldly success - it's about getting the job done and joyfully going Home, to the arms of our beloved Jesus, and taking as many as we can with us for He rejoices with every soul who finds its way home to Him. (See Luke 15) He doesn't want any of us to be lost: "...He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance." (2Peter 3:9)

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 12:1-4 NIV

I have loved the world. I have lived for worldly reward. That is part of the human experience. If we have never seen the emptiness of a worldly life, we can't turn from it to the joy of a Christ-filled life. I praise God for the work He does through me now...I thank Him for the joy that stays with me as His Spirit lives within my heart and fills every pore of my being...I pray to be a vessel so He can use me...I offer up my body as a living sacrifice, living to be pleasing to God, not conforming to this world, but transformed (Romans 12:1-2)...and I look forward anxiously to the day when I can run into the arms of my beloved Jesus, the Source of all comfort.

Day 12...

...and finally feeling better. About 50% better in fact. Today I was able to play my keyboard for a while (not serious playing, since people were around, but enough to get it out of my system for the time being), go grocery shopping at several local stores - then come home and blog about it on my Cheap'n'Easy Low Carb blog, and prepare a nice supper of meatloaf, fauxtatoes, and salad. Tomorrow I want to take my house back from the clutter that has accumulated while I was down!

And this recovery isn't a moment too soon! I'd gone for 9 days without ever leaving the house, and only rarely leaving my recliner or bed. My birds got by on a lick and a promise, both in diet and in cagekeeping.

While I'm really thankful for my recovery, I'm feeling really badly for my wonderful husband, who did so much for me while I was down. Because now he's got the same flu that I had, and he has it bad. He's so miserable, and I know just how badly he feels, having just been where he is. The only thing that I'm thankful for is that he got started on the Tamiflu within the first 18 hour of his symptoms...so I'm hopeful that he will have a short run of it.

My seasonal job has ended for the year, I've got lots of plans (fall cleaning and reorganization that will probably take us straight through the winter!) and things I want to do around my home, and of course am looking forward to getting more hours babysitting that adorable, funny, smart grandbaby of mine, and lots of time with my great kid Casey too!

Day 8 - Is It My Imagination, or...

...are the glands in my neck a little less swollen today? Still have headache, stiff neck a little better, pain around my back and ribs a little better, still have sore throat, lack of appetite, feel drained and achy.

I did eat some delicious "breakfast fish" that Pete made, not because I was hungry but because I love breakfast fish. And I did play my keyboard for a few minutes, just a couple of songs, because I miss it...but sitting on the bench was too tiring for any more than that. I'm incredibly bummed that I won't be playing for church tomorrow - or even going to church tomorrow - since I enjoyed my "debut" last week. I'm sorry that they have to use their canned music since so many people told me that they like my keyboard better...

But there are always blessings. I have no choice but to spend my days either in my recliner or in bed...but the view of the yellow, gold, red, and green leaves, with all of the evergreens outside of my window, I wouldn't notice so much if I were busy. Man can't make colors like this, and God is giving me the opportunity to admire His own handiwork in our lovely wooded neighborhood 100' above the lake. There's definitely something to be said for stopping for a while to spend time at quiet pursuits, drawing near to the Lord, and, even with the flu, getting a break from the sometimes-frenetic pace of life.