Saturday, December 4, 2010

3 days Later...

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

I haven't felt up getting on my computer, or doing anything else actually, and still don't. But I can do a short update,

Surgery was long and tough as expected. I survived, as expected. Would have been discharged yesterday if I hadn't developed pneumonia - not expected. Who would have thought that, for a woman who does everything I do taking care of my home and family and a toddler, that walking 15' down the hall would be such an exhausting and difficult task??? Or writing in my blog...so that's it for today...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Today Is The Day

(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please click below to see the entire post or go to my blog itself. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)

In about half an hour I will be leaving for the hospital for my life-changing surgery. I anticipate all will go well, with all of the prayers of my family and friends and knowing that God holds me always in the palm of His hand. Nothing happens to me that He doesn't allow, or cause, and He is faithful. I am planning on a positive outcome in spite of the relatively high numbers of failures (3-4 of every 10 according to WebMD) that can cause lifelong issues which can be way worse than the ones the surgery is intended to correct. I have faith that I won't be in that number but if I am it is because God has a purpose for me in that condition and in that case, I will still consider it good. Even if He decides it is my day to go home, it will be good. So it is win win win no matter what, but of course, the probability and the hope and the plan are for remission of the pain and other symptoms. This is a "last resort" surgery, and the key to my future.

Things will be different afterward. Even though it is NOT weight loss surgery, how I eat will be changed. Once I'm past the clear liquid stage...then the full liquid stage...then the soft foods...and so on until I'm eating everything I can, there are certain foods I may never be able to eat again, or not for many months, but it will be worth that sacrifice. Whether I want to or not, I will have to lose more weight (ugh, I HATE HATE HATE the saggy skin!) so that it doesn't fail. As a foodie, these things are more concerning to me than today surgery itself, but whatever comes God and I will deal with it. I will just have to be a different kind of foodie I guess :). I changed how I shopped/cooked/ate when I went low carb 6-1/2 years ago, I can do it again if need be!

I expect to be back online by tomorrow, if not today. Not sure if the hospital has internet or, if not, if my internet stick will get a good enough signal there. I should only have to be in there for a couple of days if all goes well. I'm so thankful for the people who have made this happen, who followed God's leading and are doing so much for me, there aren't words big enough to say it but I think they know...

As soon as hubby gets the car loaded (I'll be staying at my sister's for a while afterward so I have "stuff") we'll be off!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

*SMACK* Between the Eyes

I love church. I can't remember a single Sunday that I didn't come away with something that stayed with me and helped me grow as a Christian or in my relationship to Christ - not a single time. God uses every message our pastor gives in one way or another in my growth.

So I have come to anticipate God speaking the things I need to hear every week through him, but today was something altogether different. Of the most pressing spiritual areas I'm pondering or struggling with, he hit them all. Bing, bang, boom! But there is one thing I wanted to write about because of its relevance in my life right now: I have been using the wrong shield!

The following is a direct quote from today's sermon, in reference to the shield of faith in Ephesians chapter 6 (that I thought I knew all about!):

"Many are using the wrong shield. We try to conquer the temptations & flesh in our own strength.
We fail time & time again, yet we keep trying, hoping that some day we will get it right.
Often we are not properly using the shield, & wondering why we are not victorious against the fiery arrows of the evil one. We have the Word of God, we know the Word of God, but we don’t practice the Word of God.
"James 1:22 says, 'Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.'”

Here's where I go wrong! I do listen to the Word and I do do what it says in most cases - ie, not lying and stealing and murdering and such - but when it comes to conquering temptations and flesh, I vow to do better next time, or I try harder and harder each time...and like he said, I keep trying and hoping some day I'll get it right. Oh, I'll throw up a prayer, "I'm sorry I failed yet again, Father...help me to get it right next time." But what do I change? what do I DO, according to the Word in James 1:22? Do I keep doing the same things that lead to my failure, reading the Word, but not doing what it says in relation to my temptations and flesh? Do I USE the Word to know what to DO, what I need to change? Or do I listen to it, read it, and not change a thing yet still attempt to "do better" next time? Do I have believe that the shield of faith can protect me...but then just leave it hanging on the wall and not pick it up and put in front of me?

"Yeah, God, I know that shield hanging on the wall over there will protect me, I read all about it, blah blah blah...now let me get back to trying to gain a little ground against this temptation here...oh, and will you help me please?"

*SMACK*