This isn't a whiny post. It is puzzling to me, and also strange...so in writing about it maybe I can figure it out.
It's no secret to those who spend time with me that I changed after my "cerebrovascular event" a couple of years ago. How I think and process information, as well as my personality (or so I'm told) is different now, in some subtle and not-so-subtle ways. I've of course adapted. I've changed the way I've done some things, and had to give some things up, but I manage just fine for the most part. I've even gotten used to the occasional "overload meltdowns" - but this is different. Really different than anything I've ever felt or tried to process before.
Yeah. A different kind of overload, or a different response? I don't know.
My daughter, who moved back in with us when her marriage broke up the week before Leelan was born about 2 years ago, is moving to her own place. She's so excited - as well she should be! - and I am happy for her. This is a huge rite of passage for any young adult. I will miss her here, I will miss Leelan who has lived with us since the day he was born (I was the first person he looked at, even before he was fully born!), and our family of 4, even through some rough times, has shared our cozy little house ever since.
They won't be far away, and Casey assures me that I will still be babysitting for Leelan as much as I ever did; in fact we are keeping his bedroom here for him, he will always have his place at Ugma and Umpa's house :). And Casey will always be welcome in our guest room when her work schedule necessitates that he/they spend the night.
Today she started moving her things out. People came to help her. Her furniture is gone, and many boxes that she had packed up. I stayed in my room attempting to figure out and deal with everything mentally and emotionally for the duration.
This is all hitting me like a ton of bricks. I am going from an unexplainable and possibly illogical anger to weeping. I can't make a decision, not even about what to make for supper or what to wear, my thoughts are almost frozen. Yet at the same time my mind feels the all-too-familiar chaos that paralyzes me when I experience sensory overload.
I'm not even feeling like I'm making sense here, and it certainly isn't helping me to try to articulate something that I can't understand. But what the heck, I've invested too much time to delete it now. And Leelan will be here soon...
They won't be moved out for a few days yet. Maybe by then I will "get it" and be able to function again.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Verizon CFO: We will move to tiered data pricing mid-summer
So...if we are bound to the terms of our 2-year contract with VW, they are also bound to its terms, right? Our unlimited internet for $30 will still apply for those 2 years, I have to assume...but we will DEFINITELY check it out before I get mine this month. This is too important for assumptions. (Please see my blog post @ http://chiachatter.blogspot.com/2011/02/droids-and-finances.html )
See this Amp at http://amplify.com/u/bsg9k
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