(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)
Awful day today. That's what I get for bragging about how well I was doing yesterday, I guess! Lots of pain with any movement at all, ate ok but my tummy never did feel exactly comfortable with food today. And my body was so exhausted I slept all afternoon - even after a pretty good night's sleep! So what is it telling me, that I'm doing too much? Or simply that it needs a day of rest to do what it's trying to do? I choose the latter.
And my mantra today has been something that Anne H wrote on my blog back on Day 4: "Recovery is not always linear!" I love that, and it fits perfectly and reminds me that my body is doing the right things - just not at the steady pace I want it to do.
Lord, thank you for this lesson in patience!
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
Day 16: Baby Steps
(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)
Gradually I have been able to reduce the painkillers. Today I will just have 3 doses, and one of those doses is ibuprofen, so I'm taking less than half the narcotic that I had been taking during the time I was recovering at my sister's. (The first 5 days, in the hospital, I was getting various narcotics day and night, so I'm not even counting that.)
Speaking of narcotics (have I written this before?): As my gut issues were so bad my doctor hadn't allowed me to take any aspirin or NSAIDs, and because my liver enzymes are coming back as elevated at least half the time, she didn't want me to take acetaminophen either. So for all of my pain (mostly arthritis - spine/hips/knees/foot) she has had me taking narcotics with a higher hydrocodone level but lower acetaminophen level. I have found that to be far inferior to just plain aspirin in most cases, but at least it made me not really care too much that the pain itself wasn't being adequately relieved. And now that my gut surgeon has given me the OK to take aspirin and NSAIDs again, and having taken so much narcotic for the last couple of years, I'm extremely happy to be able to lessen my doses as quickly as I can. I'm not only taking it less often now, I'm also decreasing the doses at the same time.
Anyway, today when at rest I have been able to downgrade to "uncomfortable" rather than painful, and decreasing the amount of narcotic, and not having become breathless with exertion or exercise today, I am happy to see several "baby steps" at once :). Last night I woke up sleeping on my side and it wasn't the horrible searing pain that has caused in the past - it was very uncomfortable instead which is a huge improvement. Biggest causes of pain are still bending/stretching/twisting/reaching/lifting, and if I'm not super-vigilant when I'm eating; most other things are now downgraded to various levels of discomfort - AWESOME!
I talk about how and what I am eating, and how I am reintroducing foods into my diet on my other blog, but I will say that I think it may have been a little soon to add the ground beef. I didn't get many guidelines from my surgeon but I wrote before about how I am doing this I think? I did ok with the beef, it went down, hasn't made me ill (although there is the instance about which I wrote in my other blog...), but it does leave me with a heavy feeling in my gut that doesn't go away for a couple of hours. So I think I'm going to back off of it for a while and go back to chicken and fish and egg sources of protein.
One last thing that has nothing to do with the surgery - well, not THIS surgery at least: In September I had a cataract surgery on my left eye. (Briefly, in case you don't want to go back and read about it, the cataract was OLD, my pupil was white, the fluid in my all was 100% cloudy, and from disuse my brain stopped communicating with my eye, so it star-gazed upward and outward; I have been blind in that eye for several years.) This week I picked up my new glasses, which are TOTALLY different from the glasses I got after my first cataract surgery in 2004, and have worn ever since. And the world is a completely new place compared to what it was to me just a few short months ago! The only thing is with reading music at my keyboards; I can either pull my head back about 6" and look through the upper part, or I can lean forward and look through the lower part. Probably the first option is the best since my back is hunched anyway (and has been since I was a teen if not earlier). But for now I will keep my old pair between my keyboards and wear those when I play. (It also hurts my gut to sit up with the keyboard at the proper height but that will go away the more I do it.)
So that is my news from the last couple of days :).
Gradually I have been able to reduce the painkillers. Today I will just have 3 doses, and one of those doses is ibuprofen, so I'm taking less than half the narcotic that I had been taking during the time I was recovering at my sister's. (The first 5 days, in the hospital, I was getting various narcotics day and night, so I'm not even counting that.)
Speaking of narcotics (have I written this before?): As my gut issues were so bad my doctor hadn't allowed me to take any aspirin or NSAIDs, and because my liver enzymes are coming back as elevated at least half the time, she didn't want me to take acetaminophen either. So for all of my pain (mostly arthritis - spine/hips/knees/foot) she has had me taking narcotics with a higher hydrocodone level but lower acetaminophen level. I have found that to be far inferior to just plain aspirin in most cases, but at least it made me not really care too much that the pain itself wasn't being adequately relieved. And now that my gut surgeon has given me the OK to take aspirin and NSAIDs again, and having taken so much narcotic for the last couple of years, I'm extremely happy to be able to lessen my doses as quickly as I can. I'm not only taking it less often now, I'm also decreasing the doses at the same time.
Anyway, today when at rest I have been able to downgrade to "uncomfortable" rather than painful, and decreasing the amount of narcotic, and not having become breathless with exertion or exercise today, I am happy to see several "baby steps" at once :). Last night I woke up sleeping on my side and it wasn't the horrible searing pain that has caused in the past - it was very uncomfortable instead which is a huge improvement. Biggest causes of pain are still bending/stretching/twisting/reaching/lifting, and if I'm not super-vigilant when I'm eating; most other things are now downgraded to various levels of discomfort - AWESOME!
I talk about how and what I am eating, and how I am reintroducing foods into my diet on my other blog, but I will say that I think it may have been a little soon to add the ground beef. I didn't get many guidelines from my surgeon but I wrote before about how I am doing this I think? I did ok with the beef, it went down, hasn't made me ill (although there is the instance about which I wrote in my other blog...), but it does leave me with a heavy feeling in my gut that doesn't go away for a couple of hours. So I think I'm going to back off of it for a while and go back to chicken and fish and egg sources of protein.
One last thing that has nothing to do with the surgery - well, not THIS surgery at least: In September I had a cataract surgery on my left eye. (Briefly, in case you don't want to go back and read about it, the cataract was OLD, my pupil was white, the fluid in my all was 100% cloudy, and from disuse my brain stopped communicating with my eye, so it star-gazed upward and outward; I have been blind in that eye for several years.) This week I picked up my new glasses, which are TOTALLY different from the glasses I got after my first cataract surgery in 2004, and have worn ever since. And the world is a completely new place compared to what it was to me just a few short months ago! The only thing is with reading music at my keyboards; I can either pull my head back about 6" and look through the upper part, or I can lean forward and look through the lower part. Probably the first option is the best since my back is hunched anyway (and has been since I was a teen if not earlier). But for now I will keep my old pair between my keyboards and wear those when I play. (It also hurts my gut to sit up with the keyboard at the proper height but that will go away the more I do it.)
So that is my news from the last couple of days :).
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
...and Learned the Hard Way
(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)
I am home, finally. After a stop at Walmart to pick up my new glasses...oh yeah, and the baby needs milk - and while we're here, I'd love some swiss cheese to go with my tuna! oops, we're out of... And before I know it was have a half-dozen bags of groceries, I'm literally ready to fall off my cart when it turns a corner, and I'm biting my lip from the pain under my right rib cage and the middle of my gut. I know I haven't literally hurt/pulled/ripped anything - but this will NOT happen again. I am staying home, unless *I* want to go somewhere for a walk or whatever.
My wonderful dear husband is now torn. He's trying desperately to find work - ANY work (he can do anything, and has a great old-fashioned work ethic!) as we've been without an income for 2 months and our savings are now depleted - and he wants to be here for me, take care of me, NEEDS to be here for me. And he's watching our grandson - my job but I can't do it - and the birds and the dogs and the house... I am worse than no help. I am an added burden to him. A burden he wants to carry but with everything else it is hard on him and it is my nature to try to help.
But I won't, not for a while. I can't. This is too important. He understands that. Still, after 24 hours together I see that he is carrying a lot...it is difficult, I need to let it be difficult though. It's only been 2 weeks and I hurt more than anytime since I left the hospital 9 days ago. So I just can't do anything about it right now.
My sheer exhaustion and 8-out-of-10 pain level is telling me so, in no uncertain terms, right now...
I am home, finally. After a stop at Walmart to pick up my new glasses...oh yeah, and the baby needs milk - and while we're here, I'd love some swiss cheese to go with my tuna! oops, we're out of... And before I know it was have a half-dozen bags of groceries, I'm literally ready to fall off my cart when it turns a corner, and I'm biting my lip from the pain under my right rib cage and the middle of my gut. I know I haven't literally hurt/pulled/ripped anything - but this will NOT happen again. I am staying home, unless *I* want to go somewhere for a walk or whatever.
My wonderful dear husband is now torn. He's trying desperately to find work - ANY work (he can do anything, and has a great old-fashioned work ethic!) as we've been without an income for 2 months and our savings are now depleted - and he wants to be here for me, take care of me, NEEDS to be here for me. And he's watching our grandson - my job but I can't do it - and the birds and the dogs and the house... I am worse than no help. I am an added burden to him. A burden he wants to carry but with everything else it is hard on him and it is my nature to try to help.
But I won't, not for a while. I can't. This is too important. He understands that. Still, after 24 hours together I see that he is carrying a lot...it is difficult, I need to let it be difficult though. It's only been 2 weeks and I hurt more than anytime since I left the hospital 9 days ago. So I just can't do anything about it right now.
My sheer exhaustion and 8-out-of-10 pain level is telling me so, in no uncertain terms, right now...
Some Things I Learned This Morning
(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)
I knew it would be hard to stay uninvolved - physically - from the things going on around me once I got home but thought I could do it. I didn't do so well today, my first morning home, and am paying the price...
Pete has an appt. in Saginaw at 9:45 this morning. It is a 2-hour drive. With the icy roads we allowed extra time, and planned to leave at 7:15. And had to get the baby ready to go with us.
As Pete was trying to fix some eggs for the baby and I, I worked on packing some snacks and drinks for him, which entailed reaching to a top cupboard shelf. It hurt; I sat down with my tea and meds and eggs. Pete was running around trying to get everything ready to go so I helped with dressing Leelan. Ouch. Because of the rush, I ate my 3 bites of eggs too fast, or didn't chew them well, or something; now, 2 hours later, I'm still hurting. Then, a few minutes ago, I twisted around in my seat to see what Leelan was doing when he started to whine. MAJOR OUCH!
Right now I'm really hurting, but mostly wondering how am I going to not get involved when things need to be done? At my sister's it was easy because none of the activity was "my stuff" - now it is. And I thought I could not get involved...this is too important, I have to figure something out here...this can't continue. Meanwhile the baby is fussing in the back seat...
Gwen was right, this morning is too much.
I knew it would be hard to stay uninvolved - physically - from the things going on around me once I got home but thought I could do it. I didn't do so well today, my first morning home, and am paying the price...
Pete has an appt. in Saginaw at 9:45 this morning. It is a 2-hour drive. With the icy roads we allowed extra time, and planned to leave at 7:15. And had to get the baby ready to go with us.
As Pete was trying to fix some eggs for the baby and I, I worked on packing some snacks and drinks for him, which entailed reaching to a top cupboard shelf. It hurt; I sat down with my tea and meds and eggs. Pete was running around trying to get everything ready to go so I helped with dressing Leelan. Ouch. Because of the rush, I ate my 3 bites of eggs too fast, or didn't chew them well, or something; now, 2 hours later, I'm still hurting. Then, a few minutes ago, I twisted around in my seat to see what Leelan was doing when he started to whine. MAJOR OUCH!
Right now I'm really hurting, but mostly wondering how am I going to not get involved when things need to be done? At my sister's it was easy because none of the activity was "my stuff" - now it is. And I thought I could not get involved...this is too important, I have to figure something out here...this can't continue. Meanwhile the baby is fussing in the back seat...
Gwen was right, this morning is too much.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Lovely To Be Home!
It was a long day. Lots of riding in the car which is exhausting and not comfortable...but not as painful as it was on my way back to Gwen's from the hospital. Got home and my wonderful husband had the house so clean and tidy - better than I do! He brought in, and put away, my loads of stuff from the last 2 weeks as I rested in my recliner and greeted my dogs (good thing I put a pillow over my belly for protection!).
Had my post-surgical checkup this afternoon with my surgeon's PA. Everything seems to be coming along fine. The hard lump around my navel is a hematoma that will eventually be absorbed. I had a long list of questions, and all were answered to my satisfaction. I was especially glad to learn that I can once again take aspirin and NSAIDs. Because my liver enzymes tend to go above normal levels so often, my doctor doesn't like me to take tylenol. And because my stomach has been so bad for so long, she hasn't allowed aspirin or NSAIDs either. So just for arthritis pain I have had to take narcotics, and have found them to be much less effective. She gives me the kinds that have a lot of narcotic with just a little tylenol, and I guess they work from the perspective that I don't care so much about the pain. But I now can start taking regular aspirin (my best resource) or motrin again, or for more severe pain, I can take a larger dose of motrin and alternate it with a small dose of tylenol, which gives me better relief for almost anything than narcotics do. This was great news!
I can drive again 3 weeks post-op; have sex carefully as comfort/lack of pain dictates; lift my grandson after 4 weeks from a higher elevation (he can climb onto furniture and I can pick him up from there), eat oopsies without the same issues bread causes (I won't be able to have bread for a very long time, if ever), and so forth. All is going well and with care should continue to do so. I will see the surgeon again on January 14th.
The PA re-iterated that the first 100 days will be critical to my healing, so I plan to take good care of myself, do the best I can nutritionally and every other way. He also told me that it will be a year before I am fully healed, and that sometimes it even takes a little longer. He said that my brain will be under some effects of anesthesia for over a month, and between that and the impact on my body from the stresses of this kind of surgery, my exhaustion and feeling drained is to be expected for at least that long.
So all is well, I am home, my dear husband is taking good care of me, and I will continue to concentrate on doing everything I can to heal well - it's the only chance I have to do it right, and the rest of my life depends on it :).
Had my post-surgical checkup this afternoon with my surgeon's PA. Everything seems to be coming along fine. The hard lump around my navel is a hematoma that will eventually be absorbed. I had a long list of questions, and all were answered to my satisfaction. I was especially glad to learn that I can once again take aspirin and NSAIDs. Because my liver enzymes tend to go above normal levels so often, my doctor doesn't like me to take tylenol. And because my stomach has been so bad for so long, she hasn't allowed aspirin or NSAIDs either. So just for arthritis pain I have had to take narcotics, and have found them to be much less effective. She gives me the kinds that have a lot of narcotic with just a little tylenol, and I guess they work from the perspective that I don't care so much about the pain. But I now can start taking regular aspirin (my best resource) or motrin again, or for more severe pain, I can take a larger dose of motrin and alternate it with a small dose of tylenol, which gives me better relief for almost anything than narcotics do. This was great news!
I can drive again 3 weeks post-op; have sex carefully as comfort/lack of pain dictates; lift my grandson after 4 weeks from a higher elevation (he can climb onto furniture and I can pick him up from there), eat oopsies without the same issues bread causes (I won't be able to have bread for a very long time, if ever), and so forth. All is going well and with care should continue to do so. I will see the surgeon again on January 14th.
The PA re-iterated that the first 100 days will be critical to my healing, so I plan to take good care of myself, do the best I can nutritionally and every other way. He also told me that it will be a year before I am fully healed, and that sometimes it even takes a little longer. He said that my brain will be under some effects of anesthesia for over a month, and between that and the impact on my body from the stresses of this kind of surgery, my exhaustion and feeling drained is to be expected for at least that long.
So all is well, I am home, my dear husband is taking good care of me, and I will continue to concentrate on doing everything I can to heal well - it's the only chance I have to do it right, and the rest of my life depends on it :).
Going Home - Day 13
I am so very very thankful for this time to recover at my sister's house for the last 8 days! The whole family has be so helpful, and as I have been gaining strength they have offered whatever support I needed. This has been an extremely important part of my continuing recovery and there are no words to thank them enough!
This afternoon I see my surgeon in Midland. My husband will meet us there, and then take me home. I am ready I think. I have warned him that I can't just pick up where I left off on November 30th. I can take care of myself, pretty much. I can do some things. I need to walk and exercise. But I can't lift, still have pain with twisting or stretching or reaching, and still can't reach down to the floor from a standing position to pick something up. But I will be home, and I will do what I can and continue to push myself a little bit each day.
Last night, going to the Bug Man Christmas party at Hershey's in East Lansing, was great! It felt so good to go out for supper and spend time with friends! I had been concerned about what I'd be able to eat but they had some potato-crusted cod, and I ordered a baked potato without the skin. The cod was AMAZING and I ate about a dozen bites. I sliced the end off the potato and smashed it and buttered it well, and it too was absolutely delicious! But of course the company was the best :). The guys and their wives are all delightfully wonderfully nice and funny (loved Rick's quote, "If you're going to be stupid you'd better be tough!"), and there is always a lot of laughter and fellowship in Christ! What a great group I work with, even though Christmas is the only time I see them - lol. But now I can't wait to get back to work in the spring!
I'm still in bed but need to get up and showered and packed, and eat some leftover cod and potato for breakfast!
This afternoon I see my surgeon in Midland. My husband will meet us there, and then take me home. I am ready I think. I have warned him that I can't just pick up where I left off on November 30th. I can take care of myself, pretty much. I can do some things. I need to walk and exercise. But I can't lift, still have pain with twisting or stretching or reaching, and still can't reach down to the floor from a standing position to pick something up. But I will be home, and I will do what I can and continue to push myself a little bit each day.
Last night, going to the Bug Man Christmas party at Hershey's in East Lansing, was great! It felt so good to go out for supper and spend time with friends! I had been concerned about what I'd be able to eat but they had some potato-crusted cod, and I ordered a baked potato without the skin. The cod was AMAZING and I ate about a dozen bites. I sliced the end off the potato and smashed it and buttered it well, and it too was absolutely delicious! But of course the company was the best :). The guys and their wives are all delightfully wonderfully nice and funny (loved Rick's quote, "If you're going to be stupid you'd better be tough!"), and there is always a lot of laughter and fellowship in Christ! What a great group I work with, even though Christmas is the only time I see them - lol. But now I can't wait to get back to work in the spring!
I'm still in bed but need to get up and showered and packed, and eat some leftover cod and potato for breakfast!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Hard to Believe it is Day 11 Already!
(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't always make my point in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page. I mean, if you actually want to see it all :).)
Yesterday Gwen took me to Menard's so I could walk. I feel the need for exercise, and Menard's was a great choice even for the 2nd-Saturday-before-Christmas! Wide aisles, very well-lit, and not crowded as the mall or Walmart would be. I was able to walk the inner perimeter of the store - not the very outside aisles, but the next-smaller perimeter. Stopped a few times to rest and catch my breath but made it all the way around. At the end my legs were wobbly and I was really winded but it was worth it! The fresh cold air and the exercise really helped me. I wish I could do it every day! (And, as a side note, Menard's has changed a LOT since the last time I was there, right after the store opened, when I still lived down here!)
I ate pretty well yesterday: spread my SF-jello-and-yogurt breakfast out over a couple of hours, then had a supper of potato flakes browned in butter, then a layer a cheese, then a beaten egg poured over it all. Have to say it was not only the most elaborate meal I've had since my surgery but also my most filling! I did eat the whole egg though (potato flakes and shredded cheese about a Tbsp combined, if that) and that was good! Then had the remainder of my tuna/mayo later in the evening. So I did well. But I'm still craving vegetables. I will try a sweet potato (no skin of course) when I get home, I haven't had a veggie in 2 weeks except a couple bites of pureed carrot in the hospital.
Not a whole lot new to report other than the trip to Menard's, except that I'm still having so much pain. Seems to be coming from a big hard lump around my navel, and it pulls from all directions and hurts enough that I sometimes want to cry. It is also increasing in size. If not for that I think I would be much more comfortable, as this pain is overpowering the rest of the belly pain that I've been experiencing, to the point that I can't even tell if the other pain is still there. It is pretty severe and I'm not sure why it is appearing now and getting worse each day...but I see the surgeon on Tuesday, so I guess we'll find out then...and then I am going home! I have certainly appreciated this time at Gwen's to recover, and I certainly need much more time, but I think if I am very very careful, and with the help of my wonderful husband and daughter, I can do it there. I have been very comfortable and had lots of help to get stronger here, and just love the time with my sister and her family...but of course there is no place like home :).
Yesterday Gwen took me to Menard's so I could walk. I feel the need for exercise, and Menard's was a great choice even for the 2nd-Saturday-before-Christmas! Wide aisles, very well-lit, and not crowded as the mall or Walmart would be. I was able to walk the inner perimeter of the store - not the very outside aisles, but the next-smaller perimeter. Stopped a few times to rest and catch my breath but made it all the way around. At the end my legs were wobbly and I was really winded but it was worth it! The fresh cold air and the exercise really helped me. I wish I could do it every day! (And, as a side note, Menard's has changed a LOT since the last time I was there, right after the store opened, when I still lived down here!)
I ate pretty well yesterday: spread my SF-jello-and-yogurt breakfast out over a couple of hours, then had a supper of potato flakes browned in butter, then a layer a cheese, then a beaten egg poured over it all. Have to say it was not only the most elaborate meal I've had since my surgery but also my most filling! I did eat the whole egg though (potato flakes and shredded cheese about a Tbsp combined, if that) and that was good! Then had the remainder of my tuna/mayo later in the evening. So I did well. But I'm still craving vegetables. I will try a sweet potato (no skin of course) when I get home, I haven't had a veggie in 2 weeks except a couple bites of pureed carrot in the hospital.
Not a whole lot new to report other than the trip to Menard's, except that I'm still having so much pain. Seems to be coming from a big hard lump around my navel, and it pulls from all directions and hurts enough that I sometimes want to cry. It is also increasing in size. If not for that I think I would be much more comfortable, as this pain is overpowering the rest of the belly pain that I've been experiencing, to the point that I can't even tell if the other pain is still there. It is pretty severe and I'm not sure why it is appearing now and getting worse each day...but I see the surgeon on Tuesday, so I guess we'll find out then...and then I am going home! I have certainly appreciated this time at Gwen's to recover, and I certainly need much more time, but I think if I am very very careful, and with the help of my wonderful husband and daughter, I can do it there. I have been very comfortable and had lots of help to get stronger here, and just love the time with my sister and her family...but of course there is no place like home :).
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