Saturday, May 2, 2009

It's been a MONTH?????

So much has happened since I last posted...will try to give just a short summary so that you'll know why I disappeared for so long...

Daughter's husband deserted her just a few weeks before she was to give birth to their baby. She moved in with us, which involved reorganizing and/or changing every room in the house to accomodate not only her, but also a newborn. Hubby gave up his office, I gave up my music room so she'd have 2 bedrooms, and we cleared out the 3-season room (which was used for storage) so she'd have a place to visit with her friends, her dad, etc. PLUS the actual moving process which we all know is a pain...especially when she's about to give birth and is grieving desperately over the betrayals of her husband...

My first biological grandson (have a couple of steps) was born on April 7th. He's BEAUTIFUL! WONDERFUL! There are no words big enough to describe the whole experience, or him. We had forgotten how a newborn impacts a house, let alone a hormone-filled new mommy who is alternately grieving and raging and dealing with singleness as well as motherhood, living again with parents, etc. But he is a blessing from God, and surely the reason for the disastrous experience of pure, vulnerable love, marriage, and cruel deceptions, betrayals, and desertion. God is the Master of bringing good out of evil, when we are committed to Him. And sweet Baby is healing Daughter's heart as only the needy innocence of an infant can do...

Add to that starting my full-time seasonal job starting mid-April on top of my own thriving business, my physical issues - loss of sight in one eye (causing trips, falls, burns, cuts, bruises, etc.) so no distance perception, and can no longer drive...cognitive/organizational/multi-tasking issues from "cerebrovascular event" in the fall (causing MANY mistakes in my own business, most costly, and the total inability to handle some important tasks)...the prinzmetal's angina that knocks me periodically on my can just for fun...the gastroparesis that dictates changes to my schedule and routine at the most inopportune times (in addition to the pain)...the osteoarthritis of the spine that causes the lovely grinding feeling in my back when doing everyday tasks, and that demands my obedience or punishes me with debilitating spasms all around my rib cage...and the continuing needs of my LBD-stricken mother (for whom I am guardian), my 11 parrots (time-consuming!), 4 dogs and cat, and especially my wonderful, dear, very patient and long-suffering husband. The cooking and cleaning and laundry has often taken a backseat to supporting my daughter, and my Petey has somehow gotten the short end of the stick through it all, as so much has demanded my immediate attention, and he doesn't demand anything of me, just supports and helps me, holds me and reassures me, and loves me while he waits.

I've set aside blogging and mailing lists because they take way too much time, that I don't have, for the duration. And I've taken up Twitter and Facebook because they don't require long responses or reading time, I can give as much to them as I can, or not; most days I use them because I only have quick short bursts of computer time that isn't spent doing something I need (as opposed to want) to do.

I'm making changes in my life. I'm trying to stay uninvolved with baby care, at least until my daughter goes back to work and I will be - gladly, I might add! - the main babysitter. I will be announcing on my website this weekend that I will be closing my own business at the end of the month, something that only the vendors who sell my products and my family have known until now. I love my seasonal job, and will make no changes there. I will give - forcefully if necessary - more time to my husband. He deserves the best of me, at least sometimes...not what's left over from everything else. That whole organizing/multi-tasking loss affects everything in my life, I need to find new ways to do what I used to do effortlessly but now seems unmanageable...since I can't have my old brain back, I need to learn to deal with the new normal.

Meanwhile, I'll blog when I can, and when I have something about which to write.

Final updates: Mom (LBD) is doing well and we bring her here to "hang out" at least 1 day (sometimes 2-3) a week when she's having good days; she loves it, loves the dogs, loves making herself useful around the house, and we have a great time together. I tweet my daily meal plans (SherryPetersMI, see #lowcarb and #140diet hashtags), among other things. Friend me on Facebook if you want (Sherry Peters) - I post short and sweet snippets there, as well as pictures of Baby as he grows.

In typing this, I'm realizing how much I've missed my blog, whether anybody reads it, or not :).