Latest Test Results

The last test I had was the Gastric Emptying Study. On an empty stomach, I had about half a cup of oatmeal with isotopes in it, followed by a glass of water.

The test showed normal gastric emptying.

Here's the rub: As I've mentioned, my food doesn't move through very quickly. Even 10-12 hours after eating, it hasn't passed through my stomach, it is still sitting there like a lump. I know this, I've lived with it for over 3 years. If it does move, it moves back UP; I can obviously feel my esophagus filling back up also. Many are the nights that I ate supper a 3:00 the previous afternoon, and at 3:00 in the morning I still can't lay down because my stomach hasn't emptied, and it will come back up into my esophagus - or even further. (Believe me, throwing up a meal that's been "digesting" for 10-12 hours is AWFUL! I happens to me a lot.)

So basically, that test proved that a half-cup of oatmeal, washed down with water on an empty stomach will move. As far as I'm concerned, and in my CONSIDERABLE experience, that's all it shows. It doesn't show that my stomach empties as it should. It doesn't.

Of course, the "nurse" that read the results over the phone pronounced endoscopy as en-DOH-scope-ee, after stumbling over it a few times. And she didn't know what GES stood for. (Hello?? You're giving the results of a Gastric Emptying Study!)

Whatever. All this means is that, as I sit here with a bulging solid painful area sticking out in front of me, that nobody yet has a clue. It irritates the hell out of me, though, that now they will be operating on the assumption that my food passes through my stomach just fine, since that's what the records say. I wonder if I can correct my record to say that a small amount (compared to a meal) of oatmeal washed down with water passes through an empty stomach adequately, instead?

I guess the next step is a consult with a surgeon. In a few weeks.

God help me. Literally.

My Greatest Life Lesson

There's a lot in my head that will never again see the light of day. Why? Because people tell me things - lots of things - because they know I'm not a gossip. What others tell me is still theirs, and therefore not mine to spread around. Doesn't matter if it is "secret" information; to me, it is all "secret" as far as I'm concerned.

So - the Greatest Life Lesson? Keep your mouth shut. Just because you know something doesn't mean that you should tell everybody - or even anybody. Often, nobody cares. And other times, seemingly minor things can cause major problems. But mostly, as I said earlier, when someone shares something with you they aren't automatically granting you the rights to it - including the right to share it elsewhere.

While on the subject, then 2nd greatest life lesson is that listening is a gift; talking is an intrusion. Just shut up and listen. Most people are desperate for a listening, caring ear. They don't care about your opinions and often not even about your similar experiences. They just want someone to care enough to listen. If it is important enough for them to want to share, it is important enough for your undivided, considerate, thoughtful attention. You will know when your input is wanted, because it will be requested. Otherwise, you can't go wrong by listening.

I don't care who you are, if I don't see evidence that these lessons aren't part of your life, I won't tell you anything important. I will keep my things to myself, close to my own heart, and you won't have the privilege of sharing them with me. That's just how it is.

Yesterday I Wrote...

..."But I'm not convinced that this "new" pain is even digestive-system related. I...already recognize and deal with pain from nerve-damaged digestive tract and sluggish peristalsis. Have lived with that for several years so far and it's familiar. I have a sense that they will see what I already know, and miss the cause of the new symptoms...I don't want to hear the same thing I heard 3 years ago, and the doc thinking she's found it."

Today I didn't have any appetite all day, so I didn't eat. Then ate a regular-sized supper. And feel fine, several hours later.

Which is one of those things that led me to write what I wrote yesterday.

Just sayin'...

Today's Testing

I got up at 5:30 to get my shower and take care of things around here before leaving at about 6:45. Checked in at the clinic. The nurse last week told me the test could take 4 hours or more, so I had to take the day off from my job (which I HATE to do) for test time, driving time, paperwork time, whatever. In actuality I was done with my test by 10:30. Pete had appointments in another city in that area of the state so I was able to go with him, and my sister didn't have to drive me all the way home, and back downstate where she lives. A Praise!

Test consisted of eating a bowl of plain oatmeal containing radioactive isotopes. The tech took a 2-minute-long picture (guessing like a video? don't know for sure) right away, and then every 15 minutes to see where the isotopes were. I won't find anything out until the doctor gets the results and tells me about them. I hope they got pictures of the oatmeal coming right back up into my esophagus, although I was able to prevent it from coming up all the way at least...

It's not my place to talk about Pete's appointments and issues. Let's just say that they potentially could make my own, as bad as they are, pale in comparison. He has more appointments coming up as well, and has to go to the BIG VA hospital in Ann Arbor for more sophisticated testing... Difference is, his stuff may very well have a greater long-term impact on him than mine may (have no way of knowing at this point of course) have on me...but at the moment his stuff isn't impacting his life as much. Right now I'm more concerned about him than about myself.

Not much has changed of course. I take the pain meds and hope I don't get addicted, eat when I can, and eat whatever I can, and only as much as I can. But I'm not convinced that this "new" pain is even digestive-system related. I already know I have pain from GERD, already recognize and deal with pain from nerve-damaged digestive tract and sluggish peristalsis. Have lived with that for several years so far and it's familiar. I have a sense that they will see what I already know, and miss the cause of the new symptoms that I went to see my doctor about on May 3rd - this is different...I don't want to hear the same thing I heard 3 years ago, and the doc thinking she's found it...

Anyway, one step at a time. I don't know what's next. I guess wait for results from last week and from this week? Will report back as I learn anything, or if anything changes...

Gut stuff may be taking precedence at the moment but I want to be able to walk too. the pain in my legs is every bit as bad as in my gut, and has as much - if not more at times - impact on my quality (using that term loosely!) of life. But the time will come to address that too, I'm sure. If I'm asking too much, then it might only be because I want too much. I have an appointment at the end of next month for my blind eye too - if I could get that fixed I could...well...one thing at a time...

Thanks for all the prayers. Storming the throne of grace on my behalf is what will make all the difference, I already know this. And I do have hope. It is only here, on my blog, that I take off the happy face and let my real feelings show. But I do have hope for a more normal, less painful, more ambulatory, less dependent life again, and realize that it's just in the getting there that is the biggest trial.

God is still on his throne.