...this is what's going around now. You feel fine one minute, and within an hour you're flat-out SICK! That's what hit me yesterday. After work yesterday Pete and I left for our Friday night date night, the weekly AYCE fish fry. Sometime between the front door and the van I started to get a little sore throat. By the time we got there - some 15 minutes later - it was a full-blown sore throat. As we were eating I could feel my throat swelling, and the body aches started, along with a low-grade fever. On the way home I started with the chills.
Today I'm miserable. And I make a lousy patient, whining and complaining and moaning and whinging all the time...hey, I've always been one to share my feelings!
But I was to babysit my sweet grandson while my daughter was at work today. I am the built-in babysitter with her living here, but it still feels like my times with him are too few and far between, given that his grampa has claimed Fridays, Casey gets 2 days off each week, and she likes him to go to day care (because he loves going there to play with the other kids) one day a week...that doesn't leave many gramma days, as we call my babysitting time. Yes, he lives here so I see him all the time, but of course when his mommy is here, I stay out of the picture and let them have their time together...
Anyway, later today I'm having to give up one of my 3 babysitting days this week. I'm watching him play right now, while he watches the Saturday morning cartoons (I wish the Christian stations had cartoons every day, they have great messages for little kids!), wanting to cuddle with him but of course, being so sick...
Which brings us back to my own misery! My throat is swollen and hurts to swallow...every joint and muscle in my body aches...I have no energy...whine...complain...moan...whinge...
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
One Year Later...
It was one year ago today that my life changed forever, and today I am obsessing about it. I often say that I want my old brain back. Now it's been one year and 2 hours since I felt like me...
I woke up with a horrible headache, so bad that I called The Bug Man and told him that I couldn't take calls that day. I'd barely hung up the phone when my body stiffened and started to jerk, I lost my ability to speak, lost control of my bladder...
What happened then is anybody's guess. And that's all it was, was a guess. Of all the doctors I saw after that, the best explanation I heard - the one that seemed to be supported by the various head scans - is that there were some sort of spasms that temporarily blocked the blood supply to part of my brain. (This would seem to make sense, apparently, given that I also have prinzmetal's angina.) They called it a "cerebrovascular event" which means, basically, they don't know what happened. This, in contrast to a "cerebrovascular accident", where there is a clot or rupture within the brain...
For several hours that morning I was unable to speak, except for one sound: the "oh" sound with an "n" - oh/no. No matter what I was thinking, no matter what I wanted to say, no matter how I wanted to answer their questions, that was all I could say. It was terrifying. But what was strange, is that I could still nod yes or shake my head no - so my brain, whatever was happening inside of it, was still understanding and thinking. My mouth just didn't work. And after a couple of hours, I was able to (slowly) type on Pete's computer, "can think". I wanted him to know that I was hearing and understanding, because the hospital staff were treating me like I couldn't, and talking about me like I wasn't there, but mostly because he and Casey looked as terrified as I felt, and I wanted to reassure them. And actually, about an hour after that, while my head was in a machine that was scanning my brain for about 20 minutes, talking to God (mentally/spiritually), with headphones on and music playing, that I did regain my ability to speak. A neurologist later explained that both fervent prayer and music are known to help the brain's connections, and he wasn't surprised at all that my speech came back at that time...
Meanwhile, Pete brought my computer to the hospital the next day, and I discovered that I could only type gibberish. I've been an amazingly fast and accurate typist since high school, but what was in my head didn't make it to my fingers. I typed the right letters (for the most part) but all in the wrong order. This is something with which I still struggle...more on that later. [After completing this, I thought I'd come back to this part to add that, as I was typing it, at least 25% of my words were the wrong ones, different from the word I was thinking, and that every 2nd or 3rd word or so had to be backspaced and retyped because of that, or because the letters were typed in the wrong order. It has taken me over an hour - over an HOUR! - with no interruptions except to try to corral my chaotic thoughts every so often, as a result...]
I won't go into the massive, totally debilitating headache that followed me for months after that week in the hospital, that's a topic for another post in itself. But it was always present, along with a horrible vertigo (when I walked I was like a "beebee in a boxcar" according to Pete), for months afterward, smothering every part of my recovery and life. I went home with swallowing/choking issues, a vastly decreased vocal range (less than an octave), and that horrific nerve-pain-type headache and vertigo - but maybe worst of all were the changes in my thinking. My brain was in chaos. I felt like my wiring had turned into a pile of tangled spaghetti. More than one thing going on - like the TV on while someone was talking to me - made it impossible to focus on either one. I couldn't do math in my head, something else I'd always been a whiz at. I lost control of concentration and focus, meaing it wouldn't come even with my greatest efforts...
Today, a year later, I'm thankful that it wasn't worse. At the same time, I'm changed. People who know me best and spend time with me tell me it is very obvious; people who aren't with me a lot don't seem to notice as much. I haven't regained my organizational, multitasking, or mental math abilities, although there's maybe a 25% improvement over those first days, which happened in the first 6 months afterward - no more improvement since that time. And there are holes in my memories; places I've been, TV shows/movies I've seen, people I've met - they're all new to me again now. Some events from before I remember, others are gone, and there's no obvious pattern to which stayed and which left...
I had to give up my successful business as a result of the changes, and still grieve over that. When I type, I constantly have to backspace to rearrange the letters in my words, or replace a word that I typed with a word that I'd MEANT to type; none of that shows up in my writing, because I can fix it. Speaking, when I use words in the wrong order, or use the wrong words, it's more obvious because I can't. And the mental chaos remains when I can't control my environment, until the scrambled thoughts and input in my brain just become such a tangled ball that I can't tell them apart anymore, rendering me unable to process any of it.
How all of this affects my life from day to day, or even minute to minute, often makes me wish for my old brain back, the one that worked. Most of the changes don't "show" and people, except those who live with me or know me best, think everything is fine. I wish it was. And only I know how different things are, really...while my family (mostly my husband, daughter, and sister) sees the results of the differences...
Finally, music. My greatest fear was that I wouldn't be able to play my keyboard anymore, and I was afraid to even try when I first got home, because if I'd lost that, I wouldn't be able to stand it. When I finally tried, I found that I could still read notes and play them as they were written, although not always in the right order at first of course, and things like dynamics and style took more time to add to my playing again - but it required conscious thought and enormous concentration in those early days. I'm told that I sound fine now, when I play. It doesn't feel the same to me, I don't believe - no, I KNOW that I'm not where I used to be. Occasionally it feels close - 95% - when I'm alone, there are no distractions or other things adding chaos to my thoughts. Because playing is about the music, not the notes, which are supposed to - which used to - flow off the page and through my eyes straight to my fingers without conscious thought or concentration. Now I need to think about things, analyze what I'm seeing on the page and make it - as opposed to let it - blend with the feeling parts of music...and of course conversation or even activity around me makes my brain struggle with that. Often I don't even bother, until I'm alone or at least the house is quiet.
So yeah, I'm thankful, and God is in control of my life since I'd totally sold myself out to Him years ago. I wouldn't be human if I didn't remember how things used to be and hate the changes in how I am now. I haven't seen anything positive in myself as a result, but have been enormously blessed by my family especially...how Pete, in addition to his job, did all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and laundry and pet care in those early months, when I could do nothing at all, even walk a straight line, and took me to appointments and devoted himself to me and my care and taking care of everything with our home and pets...and how Casey, just 3 months into her new marriage, going to school and working full-time while sick constantly and unable to keep food down while in the early stages of growing a baby, stayed at the hospital with me 24/7, sleeping in a chair next to me, helping in every way that she could and being there for me no matter how unpleasant it got...and how Gwen, not only in the early days but in the coming months, gave up so much time with her family and her life downstate to spend helping, especially advocating when I couldn't get answers, and eventually getting the answer to the always-present, God-awful headaches and vertigo, thereby giving my life back to me.
Today I'm obsessing about it all, I can't stop thinking about it, it's not a day to celebrate obviously but it is a day to contemplate, and while I'm overcome with all kinds of feelings today, I'm also still trying to make sense of the whole thing and can think of little else...
I woke up with a horrible headache, so bad that I called The Bug Man and told him that I couldn't take calls that day. I'd barely hung up the phone when my body stiffened and started to jerk, I lost my ability to speak, lost control of my bladder...
What happened then is anybody's guess. And that's all it was, was a guess. Of all the doctors I saw after that, the best explanation I heard - the one that seemed to be supported by the various head scans - is that there were some sort of spasms that temporarily blocked the blood supply to part of my brain. (This would seem to make sense, apparently, given that I also have prinzmetal's angina.) They called it a "cerebrovascular event" which means, basically, they don't know what happened. This, in contrast to a "cerebrovascular accident", where there is a clot or rupture within the brain...
For several hours that morning I was unable to speak, except for one sound: the "oh" sound with an "n" - oh/no. No matter what I was thinking, no matter what I wanted to say, no matter how I wanted to answer their questions, that was all I could say. It was terrifying. But what was strange, is that I could still nod yes or shake my head no - so my brain, whatever was happening inside of it, was still understanding and thinking. My mouth just didn't work. And after a couple of hours, I was able to (slowly) type on Pete's computer, "can think". I wanted him to know that I was hearing and understanding, because the hospital staff were treating me like I couldn't, and talking about me like I wasn't there, but mostly because he and Casey looked as terrified as I felt, and I wanted to reassure them. And actually, about an hour after that, while my head was in a machine that was scanning my brain for about 20 minutes, talking to God (mentally/spiritually), with headphones on and music playing, that I did regain my ability to speak. A neurologist later explained that both fervent prayer and music are known to help the brain's connections, and he wasn't surprised at all that my speech came back at that time...
Meanwhile, Pete brought my computer to the hospital the next day, and I discovered that I could only type gibberish. I've been an amazingly fast and accurate typist since high school, but what was in my head didn't make it to my fingers. I typed the right letters (for the most part) but all in the wrong order. This is something with which I still struggle...more on that later. [After completing this, I thought I'd come back to this part to add that, as I was typing it, at least 25% of my words were the wrong ones, different from the word I was thinking, and that every 2nd or 3rd word or so had to be backspaced and retyped because of that, or because the letters were typed in the wrong order. It has taken me over an hour - over an HOUR! - with no interruptions except to try to corral my chaotic thoughts every so often, as a result...]
I won't go into the massive, totally debilitating headache that followed me for months after that week in the hospital, that's a topic for another post in itself. But it was always present, along with a horrible vertigo (when I walked I was like a "beebee in a boxcar" according to Pete), for months afterward, smothering every part of my recovery and life. I went home with swallowing/choking issues, a vastly decreased vocal range (less than an octave), and that horrific nerve-pain-type headache and vertigo - but maybe worst of all were the changes in my thinking. My brain was in chaos. I felt like my wiring had turned into a pile of tangled spaghetti. More than one thing going on - like the TV on while someone was talking to me - made it impossible to focus on either one. I couldn't do math in my head, something else I'd always been a whiz at. I lost control of concentration and focus, meaing it wouldn't come even with my greatest efforts...
Today, a year later, I'm thankful that it wasn't worse. At the same time, I'm changed. People who know me best and spend time with me tell me it is very obvious; people who aren't with me a lot don't seem to notice as much. I haven't regained my organizational, multitasking, or mental math abilities, although there's maybe a 25% improvement over those first days, which happened in the first 6 months afterward - no more improvement since that time. And there are holes in my memories; places I've been, TV shows/movies I've seen, people I've met - they're all new to me again now. Some events from before I remember, others are gone, and there's no obvious pattern to which stayed and which left...
I had to give up my successful business as a result of the changes, and still grieve over that. When I type, I constantly have to backspace to rearrange the letters in my words, or replace a word that I typed with a word that I'd MEANT to type; none of that shows up in my writing, because I can fix it. Speaking, when I use words in the wrong order, or use the wrong words, it's more obvious because I can't. And the mental chaos remains when I can't control my environment, until the scrambled thoughts and input in my brain just become such a tangled ball that I can't tell them apart anymore, rendering me unable to process any of it.
How all of this affects my life from day to day, or even minute to minute, often makes me wish for my old brain back, the one that worked. Most of the changes don't "show" and people, except those who live with me or know me best, think everything is fine. I wish it was. And only I know how different things are, really...while my family (mostly my husband, daughter, and sister) sees the results of the differences...
Finally, music. My greatest fear was that I wouldn't be able to play my keyboard anymore, and I was afraid to even try when I first got home, because if I'd lost that, I wouldn't be able to stand it. When I finally tried, I found that I could still read notes and play them as they were written, although not always in the right order at first of course, and things like dynamics and style took more time to add to my playing again - but it required conscious thought and enormous concentration in those early days. I'm told that I sound fine now, when I play. It doesn't feel the same to me, I don't believe - no, I KNOW that I'm not where I used to be. Occasionally it feels close - 95% - when I'm alone, there are no distractions or other things adding chaos to my thoughts. Because playing is about the music, not the notes, which are supposed to - which used to - flow off the page and through my eyes straight to my fingers without conscious thought or concentration. Now I need to think about things, analyze what I'm seeing on the page and make it - as opposed to let it - blend with the feeling parts of music...and of course conversation or even activity around me makes my brain struggle with that. Often I don't even bother, until I'm alone or at least the house is quiet.
So yeah, I'm thankful, and God is in control of my life since I'd totally sold myself out to Him years ago. I wouldn't be human if I didn't remember how things used to be and hate the changes in how I am now. I haven't seen anything positive in myself as a result, but have been enormously blessed by my family especially...how Pete, in addition to his job, did all the cooking and cleaning and shopping and laundry and pet care in those early months, when I could do nothing at all, even walk a straight line, and took me to appointments and devoted himself to me and my care and taking care of everything with our home and pets...and how Casey, just 3 months into her new marriage, going to school and working full-time while sick constantly and unable to keep food down while in the early stages of growing a baby, stayed at the hospital with me 24/7, sleeping in a chair next to me, helping in every way that she could and being there for me no matter how unpleasant it got...and how Gwen, not only in the early days but in the coming months, gave up so much time with her family and her life downstate to spend helping, especially advocating when I couldn't get answers, and eventually getting the answer to the always-present, God-awful headaches and vertigo, thereby giving my life back to me.
Today I'm obsessing about it all, I can't stop thinking about it, it's not a day to celebrate obviously but it is a day to contemplate, and while I'm overcome with all kinds of feelings today, I'm also still trying to make sense of the whole thing and can think of little else...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Where Did They Go?
I've moved all of my low-carb-related posts to my new blog: Cheap'n'Easy Low Carb . I'll continue to use ChiaChatter for everything else :).
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A New YouTube Upload
I've been working on this one for a couple of weeks, and this is the result...with some of my parrots adding their opinion in the background - lol. If I did it right, clicking on the title of my post will link to the website.
Monday, October 12, 2009
When God Lays Something On Your Heart...Part II
I just finished part I of my thoughts about our obligations toward the spreading of the Gospel of Christ, and our support of those who reach out in our communities and our world to reach all with the Word. I divided my post into two parts because it's easier to read 2 shorter blog entries than one big one I think :). This isn't as much about fund raising as it is about each of us finding ways to help our churches do their work. These are all things that I'm working on, myself; this isn't a sermon and I'm not preaching :). This is a sharing of what I can do, and hopefully others can as well. If you are led to add to this list (remember, it's not fund-raising, it's "what I can do"), please do so that more churches can be blessed!
So. We want to help our church financially. We already give our 10% and want to do more but our finances don't seem to allow for that. What else can we do?
(1) Pray. I know that we're to pray without ceasing anyway, but set aside a time to really get down with God on this one. Ask Him to use you, and to bless His church through you. Ask Him to open your eyes for opportunities to provide. He will. You and He are on the same team as you are seeking His will and tangible guidance.
(2) Make a commitment. You've prayed over it, you've opened your heart to let the Holy Spirit fill it with His will...now commit to obedience.
(3) Set aside your extra. He will provide it but you might not see it happening, so just do it. As an example, stash every dollar bill out of your wallet into an envelope each evening. Set aside your change or your singles for His Kingdom, and only for His Kingdom, not to be spent.
(4) Create extra. Find something in your home that you can sell and give the money to the church. (I can guarantee you that no possession in the world is as important as souls won for God!) Do you have a talent? Commit hours to your giving either to create extra dollars, or to help others to do so. Give a guitar lesson, or a cooking lesson, or have a snowshoe making class - then donate your proceeds.
(5) Start a project. Do you have a special talent? Make an eBook to teach others, put it online for a buck, and send those bucks to your church. Create a work of beauty - a quilt, a sweater, pillow shams, doghouses, whatever - and sell it to profit the church. (There are lots of ways to sell things, from local advertising to online selling to consignment auctions!)
(6) Increase your giving. If you're already giving 10%, give 11%. It may not make a huge difference in your household budget but once God provides the increase it can make a huge difference to your church - especially if more members get on board!
(7) Have a party. Scrapbook or sew, bring instruments and jam, play games, or whatever. And pass the plate.
(8) Set up a long, tall, clear tube in your church for spare change. The narrower the tube, the faster it will seem to fill up, and people will be more encouraged to give. It is amazing how quickly the tube can fill up with just a handful every time someone walks in the door.
(9) Donate all of your pop cans and bottles to your church. Set up a spot where people can drop them off, then volunteer your time to cash them in every week.
(10) Seek opportunity to earn - and God will provide it. It can be anything from a couple of hours of babysitting, to leaf raking/lawn mowing/snow shovelling, for a donation rather than a fee. Whenever you think, "I can't do that" make a conscious effort to think, "Hmmm, how could I make that work?" In jumping to the "I can't do that" conclusion, we choke off the small, still voice and reject a whole lot of opportunities!
If we are (a) open to the Holy Spirit's leading, (b) creative, and (c) enthusiastic, we will be amazed at how God will enable us to provide!
So. We want to help our church financially. We already give our 10% and want to do more but our finances don't seem to allow for that. What else can we do?
(1) Pray. I know that we're to pray without ceasing anyway, but set aside a time to really get down with God on this one. Ask Him to use you, and to bless His church through you. Ask Him to open your eyes for opportunities to provide. He will. You and He are on the same team as you are seeking His will and tangible guidance.
(2) Make a commitment. You've prayed over it, you've opened your heart to let the Holy Spirit fill it with His will...now commit to obedience.
(3) Set aside your extra. He will provide it but you might not see it happening, so just do it. As an example, stash every dollar bill out of your wallet into an envelope each evening. Set aside your change or your singles for His Kingdom, and only for His Kingdom, not to be spent.
(4) Create extra. Find something in your home that you can sell and give the money to the church. (I can guarantee you that no possession in the world is as important as souls won for God!) Do you have a talent? Commit hours to your giving either to create extra dollars, or to help others to do so. Give a guitar lesson, or a cooking lesson, or have a snowshoe making class - then donate your proceeds.
(5) Start a project. Do you have a special talent? Make an eBook to teach others, put it online for a buck, and send those bucks to your church. Create a work of beauty - a quilt, a sweater, pillow shams, doghouses, whatever - and sell it to profit the church. (There are lots of ways to sell things, from local advertising to online selling to consignment auctions!)
(6) Increase your giving. If you're already giving 10%, give 11%. It may not make a huge difference in your household budget but once God provides the increase it can make a huge difference to your church - especially if more members get on board!
(7) Have a party. Scrapbook or sew, bring instruments and jam, play games, or whatever. And pass the plate.
(8) Set up a long, tall, clear tube in your church for spare change. The narrower the tube, the faster it will seem to fill up, and people will be more encouraged to give. It is amazing how quickly the tube can fill up with just a handful every time someone walks in the door.
(9) Donate all of your pop cans and bottles to your church. Set up a spot where people can drop them off, then volunteer your time to cash them in every week.
(10) Seek opportunity to earn - and God will provide it. It can be anything from a couple of hours of babysitting, to leaf raking/lawn mowing/snow shovelling, for a donation rather than a fee. Whenever you think, "I can't do that" make a conscious effort to think, "Hmmm, how could I make that work?" In jumping to the "I can't do that" conclusion, we choke off the small, still voice and reject a whole lot of opportunities!
If we are (a) open to the Holy Spirit's leading, (b) creative, and (c) enthusiastic, we will be amazed at how God will enable us to provide!
When God Lays Something On Your Heart...
...you just have to do something about it. I'm blogging as my first step; the next step will be to DO those things about which I am about to write.
Our purpose as Christians isn't to be happy, be blessed, get rich, have perfect health, or any of the other popular goals that many people seem to seek from God. If that were the case, then there certainly would have been more examples of those in the early church documented in the Word. Jesus Himself had no earthly home that we're told about, but His home was always heaven, and His time here was to accomplish a mission...the greatest mission known to mankind, in fact. While many were healed, some were not. While there were those who prospered financially there were also saints who had to trust God for every morsel.
The point of this writing isn't to debate whether we should expect riches while on earth, but what God's goal IS for us while we're here and how we can help accomplish them.
The Bible is very clear that our purpose is to be a vessel of God's love to the world, to shine His light, and to preach the gospel. He wants all to be saved and none to be lost, but that can't happen unless everyone hears the Word. It is also clear that not all are called to be missionaries. But we are all called to spread the kingdom.
In this world, that means there is a need for finances. In the early church, disciples of Christ traveled on foot, finding sustenance and shelter with those who had been blessed to provide it for them, and speaking of the Gospel wherever they went.
Have we been blessed to provide for those who are speaking the Gospel wherever they go? There comes a time where each of us has to ask ourselves whether we are called to go (whether across the world or across the street, in our own sphere of souls), or to provide for those who do. In addition, each one of us is obligated to provide for our local fellowship, that it may in turn provide the Gospel, as well as our own spiritual sustenance, in our local "world".
Yet so many of our local churches are struggling to make ends meet. Every Christian feels an obligation, or should feel an obligation, to support their local church, and assure that it not only remains debt-free, but that it is able to do its work in the community. It should also be a given that the members are giving each week the tenth of their income, but that's not always the case either.
So what can we do? How can our local churches fill in the financial gap?
First, members have to realize that they will be blessed for their support. While God isn't a mechanical one-armed bandit that spews out coin with every "deposit", He promised to meet the needs of His own as we work to fulfill His purpose. The reasons that this doesn't always "work" are probably numerous, but there are two that are the most common.
One is that Christians don't always reckon the difference between wants and needs. God meets our needs, but He may not always determine that eating out several times a week, or going on expensive vacations every year, or the newest style in clothes or manicures are "needs". Indeed, if we are splurging on such things while people are being lost or our churches are unable to meet their own bills, then shame on us! God isn't going to bless those of us who seek after worldly pleasure or comfort rather than His Kingdom, or whose heart is pleased with the purchase of designer labels more than rejoicing for every person who comes to know Jesus.
The other is that we are only doing lip service to the concept of "trusting God". Do we REALLY trust Him to meet our needs? Do we see that bank balance as being more reliable as the One who created us, died for us, and has promised to care for us? Do we hold onto what's in our wallets in case something happens that might cost us money? Do we hold onto the promises of God as being more tangible than the bills we clutch in our fists? If those bills are our comfort, than we are only deluding ourselves that we are indeed trusting God.
Some people I'm sure feel they are being judged by my words. But I don't point my finger at anyone, that's not my place. I'm in, or have been or will be, the same place as I'm writing about. What I can do is share what's in my heart for God to use these words to touch yours.
And now I'm going to write a separate post about some sacrificial but relatively painless ways for God's people to help their missionaries and churches to do their work.
Our purpose as Christians isn't to be happy, be blessed, get rich, have perfect health, or any of the other popular goals that many people seem to seek from God. If that were the case, then there certainly would have been more examples of those in the early church documented in the Word. Jesus Himself had no earthly home that we're told about, but His home was always heaven, and His time here was to accomplish a mission...the greatest mission known to mankind, in fact. While many were healed, some were not. While there were those who prospered financially there were also saints who had to trust God for every morsel.
The point of this writing isn't to debate whether we should expect riches while on earth, but what God's goal IS for us while we're here and how we can help accomplish them.
The Bible is very clear that our purpose is to be a vessel of God's love to the world, to shine His light, and to preach the gospel. He wants all to be saved and none to be lost, but that can't happen unless everyone hears the Word. It is also clear that not all are called to be missionaries. But we are all called to spread the kingdom.
In this world, that means there is a need for finances. In the early church, disciples of Christ traveled on foot, finding sustenance and shelter with those who had been blessed to provide it for them, and speaking of the Gospel wherever they went.
Have we been blessed to provide for those who are speaking the Gospel wherever they go? There comes a time where each of us has to ask ourselves whether we are called to go (whether across the world or across the street, in our own sphere of souls), or to provide for those who do. In addition, each one of us is obligated to provide for our local fellowship, that it may in turn provide the Gospel, as well as our own spiritual sustenance, in our local "world".
Yet so many of our local churches are struggling to make ends meet. Every Christian feels an obligation, or should feel an obligation, to support their local church, and assure that it not only remains debt-free, but that it is able to do its work in the community. It should also be a given that the members are giving each week the tenth of their income, but that's not always the case either.
So what can we do? How can our local churches fill in the financial gap?
First, members have to realize that they will be blessed for their support. While God isn't a mechanical one-armed bandit that spews out coin with every "deposit", He promised to meet the needs of His own as we work to fulfill His purpose. The reasons that this doesn't always "work" are probably numerous, but there are two that are the most common.
One is that Christians don't always reckon the difference between wants and needs. God meets our needs, but He may not always determine that eating out several times a week, or going on expensive vacations every year, or the newest style in clothes or manicures are "needs". Indeed, if we are splurging on such things while people are being lost or our churches are unable to meet their own bills, then shame on us! God isn't going to bless those of us who seek after worldly pleasure or comfort rather than His Kingdom, or whose heart is pleased with the purchase of designer labels more than rejoicing for every person who comes to know Jesus.
The other is that we are only doing lip service to the concept of "trusting God". Do we REALLY trust Him to meet our needs? Do we see that bank balance as being more reliable as the One who created us, died for us, and has promised to care for us? Do we hold onto what's in our wallets in case something happens that might cost us money? Do we hold onto the promises of God as being more tangible than the bills we clutch in our fists? If those bills are our comfort, than we are only deluding ourselves that we are indeed trusting God.
Some people I'm sure feel they are being judged by my words. But I don't point my finger at anyone, that's not my place. I'm in, or have been or will be, the same place as I'm writing about. What I can do is share what's in my heart for God to use these words to touch yours.
And now I'm going to write a separate post about some sacrificial but relatively painless ways for God's people to help their missionaries and churches to do their work.
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