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Sunday, November 21, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Michigan Catholic Bishop to Hold Burial of Babies in Abortion Dumpster | LifeNews.com
I am so thankful that these babies are now in the loving arms of their Creator, and now know His love and protection for all eternity...
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Less Than Two Weeks....
...and as soon as I realized that, within seconds of opening my eyes this morning, I developed an instant headache and nausea. Instant. I talked to God about it, it isn't that I don't trust Him (how could I not?)...but putting myself into the hands of people in a profession that has betrayed and even damaged me in the past is overwhelming. I felt a sense of panic. What will happen to me when I am at their mercy? Thankfully I am here as a result of God's mercy, and His trumps theirs...but the headache and nausea remain.
I had my telephone pre-registration appointment this morning. Her name was Linda. She has parrots too. Discussing them set me at ease before the actual interroga...er...interview began. She was very nice, good sense of humor, going through medical issues herself - I liked her. Until the end. I can't wear my wedding rings (yes, I have 2 bands, a story for another time), and they are so adamant about that that if I show up for surgery with my rings on, it will be canceled. She said they are dead serious about that. My heart started racing, I felt panic, and like I needed to run away. She told me that if they won't come off (and they won't, no matter WHAT you try - trust me on this!) they need to be cut off. CUT OFF?!?!?!? I started to freak out; she went from pleasant to insistent and was approaching dictatorial, at least from my perspective. I couldn't wait to get off the phone and try to pretend it didn't happen. Pete assured me that the jeweler will be able to put the rings back together afterward so I can wear them again. He'd better, if he can't then I don't know what I will do...this is perhaps the most awful thing I've heard yet.
Maybe you - whoever you are - don't "get" my feelings about all of this. Of course you don't know my history or my past, or me, well enough to understand it. That's ok. Just accept at face value that there are good reasons for these panics-alternating-with-periods-of-acceptance-even-if-not-CALM-acceptance. I need to get through the next less than 2 weeks, and better than I am doing it today.
Less than 2 weeks. The symbols of my strongest earthly bond taken off. Less than 2 weeks. The unexpected. Less than 2 weeks. At the mercy of people I don't trust. Less than 2 weeks...less than 2 weeks...less than 2 weeks...
I had my telephone pre-registration appointment this morning. Her name was Linda. She has parrots too. Discussing them set me at ease before the actual interroga...er...interview began. She was very nice, good sense of humor, going through medical issues herself - I liked her. Until the end. I can't wear my wedding rings (yes, I have 2 bands, a story for another time), and they are so adamant about that that if I show up for surgery with my rings on, it will be canceled. She said they are dead serious about that. My heart started racing, I felt panic, and like I needed to run away. She told me that if they won't come off (and they won't, no matter WHAT you try - trust me on this!) they need to be cut off. CUT OFF?!?!?!? I started to freak out; she went from pleasant to insistent and was approaching dictatorial, at least from my perspective. I couldn't wait to get off the phone and try to pretend it didn't happen. Pete assured me that the jeweler will be able to put the rings back together afterward so I can wear them again. He'd better, if he can't then I don't know what I will do...this is perhaps the most awful thing I've heard yet.
Maybe you - whoever you are - don't "get" my feelings about all of this. Of course you don't know my history or my past, or me, well enough to understand it. That's ok. Just accept at face value that there are good reasons for these panics-alternating-with-periods-of-acceptance-even-if-not-CALM-acceptance. I need to get through the next less than 2 weeks, and better than I am doing it today.
Less than 2 weeks. The symbols of my strongest earthly bond taken off. Less than 2 weeks. The unexpected. Less than 2 weeks. At the mercy of people I don't trust. Less than 2 weeks...less than 2 weeks...less than 2 weeks...
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
THIS Is How God Worked Today!
So today I had a miserable test in preparation for my upcoming surgery. Miserable! I had read quite a bit about it around the 'net, and knew it wouldn't be pleasant. Yesterday in fact, after reading all of the reports from people who have had it, I was dreading it. I had myself worked into quite a dither from dread actually. I knew I had to go through it and didn't want to...
Last night before bed my BFF from high school Shelly - still one of my besties - said that she would be praying and that they would pray in her Bible study group this morning also, and I knew other family and friends were praying too.
Let me just stop here and say that I don't get worked up about stuff like this, not about things I have no choice about. I typically put my head down like a bull and barrel through it, concentrating on the other side, but don't fret much beforehand. For some reason this was different and I had a huge sense of dread.
So this morning when I got up I found an email from Shelly with how she was praying: that all would go well, that this would lead to complete healing, that those around me would be Christians, that I would have a real sense of God's presence, that the test would go quickly and without incident...
I no sooner read that than my Bible-verse-of-the-day popped up on my cell phone. Today's verse was Isaiah 41:10 - I will strengthen and help you. I will uphold you with my right hand. WOW! Confirmation in NO uncertain terms!
With that confirmation, my fear and trepidation left me. I still wished I didn't have to go through the test but I had my assurance that God was with me. Yes, I knew that, but for Him to use others to confirm it to me there was no denying it. And there was no room for fear.
We got there over an hour early, and they were able to do the test at 2:00 instead of 3:00 - a good thing since I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since midnight! Blessing! Judy and Shirley were the technicians (?) who did the test. They were both glad I had my Bible verse with me (I kept it on the screen of my cell phone, which I kept with me). They were very very encouraging, understanding and gentle. And when it was the most miserable and nasty, Judy spoke my Bible verse back to me! And precious Shirley made me a pot of coffee because I said that was what I missed the most, not food, just coffee...so as soon as the test was done, she brought me a cup just as I like it! And then we discussed faith in Jesus! Indeed, God provided believers to see me through in answer to that specific prayer!
Yes, the experience was terrible. I hated every second of it. Judy and Shirley were wonderful in the midst of it, and I was pleasant as I could manage but I really wanted to just leave. And I still hurt from it, almost 7 hours later, but when I remember back on the experience, even while it is still fresh in my mind how awful it was, I feel BLESSED! God took something like this and gave it to me as a BLESSING!!
Yes, this is how God worked today, and how He works most often in my life. He doesn't remove my burdens of life, He doesn't prevent me from fully experiencing them, but He does assure me of His presence with me, and He blesses me through them! In the midst of everything else in life, He is there, He helps, He loves, He teaches, and He blesses.
He is MY God, I am HIS child, and He is ALWAYS faithful!
Last night before bed my BFF from high school Shelly - still one of my besties - said that she would be praying and that they would pray in her Bible study group this morning also, and I knew other family and friends were praying too.
Let me just stop here and say that I don't get worked up about stuff like this, not about things I have no choice about. I typically put my head down like a bull and barrel through it, concentrating on the other side, but don't fret much beforehand. For some reason this was different and I had a huge sense of dread.
So this morning when I got up I found an email from Shelly with how she was praying: that all would go well, that this would lead to complete healing, that those around me would be Christians, that I would have a real sense of God's presence, that the test would go quickly and without incident...
I no sooner read that than my Bible-verse-of-the-day popped up on my cell phone. Today's verse was Isaiah 41:10 - I will strengthen and help you. I will uphold you with my right hand. WOW! Confirmation in NO uncertain terms!
With that confirmation, my fear and trepidation left me. I still wished I didn't have to go through the test but I had my assurance that God was with me. Yes, I knew that, but for Him to use others to confirm it to me there was no denying it. And there was no room for fear.
We got there over an hour early, and they were able to do the test at 2:00 instead of 3:00 - a good thing since I hadn't had anything to eat or drink since midnight! Blessing! Judy and Shirley were the technicians (?) who did the test. They were both glad I had my Bible verse with me (I kept it on the screen of my cell phone, which I kept with me). They were very very encouraging, understanding and gentle. And when it was the most miserable and nasty, Judy spoke my Bible verse back to me! And precious Shirley made me a pot of coffee because I said that was what I missed the most, not food, just coffee...so as soon as the test was done, she brought me a cup just as I like it! And then we discussed faith in Jesus! Indeed, God provided believers to see me through in answer to that specific prayer!
Yes, the experience was terrible. I hated every second of it. Judy and Shirley were wonderful in the midst of it, and I was pleasant as I could manage but I really wanted to just leave. And I still hurt from it, almost 7 hours later, but when I remember back on the experience, even while it is still fresh in my mind how awful it was, I feel BLESSED! God took something like this and gave it to me as a BLESSING!!
Yes, this is how God worked today, and how He works most often in my life. He doesn't remove my burdens of life, He doesn't prevent me from fully experiencing them, but He does assure me of His presence with me, and He blesses me through them! In the midst of everything else in life, He is there, He helps, He loves, He teaches, and He blesses.
He is MY God, I am HIS child, and He is ALWAYS faithful!
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