My Strange Knee

Several years ago I injured my right knee in a fall on ice. Don't know if that has anything to do with what is going on now, or not, but I went to PT for several months and everything seemed fine until recently, other than some developing arthritis pain which my doctor said would be normal after such an injury.

So a few months ago I noticed a different pain in my knee...then, sitting in my recliner, it seemed that my leg wasn't quite straight. In addition, my kneecap had moved and was sitting up at the top of my knee and off to the right (outside). (If I still shaved my legs I probably would have noticed sooner...er...tmi, right?)

In the intervening months, my leg from the knee down has continued to become more deformed - the only word I can think of to describe it - until now, from a front view, it looks rather like this:
| |
/ |
Yes, the lower half of my leg is sticking out to the side. And it is PAINFUL. Now, from hip to toes, there is continual pain from, I'm guessing, soft tissues that are being pulled as they were never intended to be.

Of course I've gone to the doctor, and she said that the arthritis is wearing down the outside of my knee joint rather than evenly all the way across. Naturally, without health insurance a specialist is out of the question, as is surgery (if, indeed, there is a surgical solution). As my hip is now starting to object when I walk, and as there are times that it feels my leg will snap right off at the knee when I put weight on it, it is becoming a bigger and bigger problem all the time.

I will lose more weight now, I guess...(I'd lost 90# a few years ago but still have more to go, that I'd decided to just keep, for my own personal reasons...see my low carb blog if you're interested.)...and Pete is working on a way to support the leg. I can ease the pain a bit through rest and drugs but sitting in a recliner buzzed on Vicodin isn't my idea of the good life...at least not when I'm only 52 years old...

I'm not whining, but I am frustrated, and not sure what I will do or where I will go from here. I use a cane to take some of the weight from the knee when I walk, it obviously isn't enough but crutches seem like overkill, and also exacerbate the arthritis in my spine.

I guess I'll keep looking for answers, lose more weight, rest when the pain is too much, use a support on my knee, keep up with the alternating motril/tylenol regimen (with a vicodin when it's so bad that that doesn't work) all day, every day...and if there is a job out there for someone who can't sit or stand for long periods, can't lift, lost the ability to do math/organizational/multitasking with a "cerebrovascular event" a couple of years ago, has continual accidents/dropping/tripping/misjudging from loss of vision, can only drive in full daylight when there's no traffic around...I can do that job, and use my paychecks to buy some health insurance :).

Meanwhile...I guess I just do what I can do, and pray about the rest!