Thursday, August 27, 2009
Just thinking about the news...
...and I am so glad that we have the internet now so we're not at the mercy of the mainstream media. Foxnews, who doesn't simply parrot what the other news sources opine, is a singular option for those who want to make up their own minds. Even so, it seems that reporting has given way to commentary and opinion in the name of "news". The multitude of web sources gives us options, shows us "the rest of the story" and exposes commentary and opinion for what it truly is. Which is not "news".
More Than We Can Bear
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (NIV) ICor.10:13
God's Word is often misquoted, omitting the all-important word "tempted". I've even had pastors misquote God in an attempt to comfort me during trials.
If the idea that God never gives us more than we can bear WERE true, then why would I need God?
Today I found a blog entry that says it much better than I ever could. If I did it right, my title should link to it.
God's Word is often misquoted, omitting the all-important word "tempted". I've even had pastors misquote God in an attempt to comfort me during trials.
If the idea that God never gives us more than we can bear WERE true, then why would I need God?
Today I found a blog entry that says it much better than I ever could. If I did it right, my title should link to it.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Shopping with God
I've been saving up my pennies for a couple of months now, needing a few pieces of furniture. I shop thrifts - or I should say THE thrift since Houghton Lake only really has one of any size. The St. Vincent dePaul store is very large and I can spend hours just wandering around that place, but whenever I've wanted something specific I've not had much luck there. But Pete had to go to work at 2:00 so I got up early (for a Saturday, my only day to sleep in all week) for a planned outing to St.V's that I'd been planning all week. I was SO hopeful to find at least one of the items I needed, for a decent price...
So we got to St. V's right after they opened. I walked in the door to the furniture side of the building and saw it right away: the loveseat of my dreams. Actually it is for Casey, as the chairs in our living room aren't made for lounging in and cuddling a baby. Small living room, the 2 recliners that Pete and I sit in, and 2 other "company chairs"...when Casey moved back home there wasn't a cozy chair for her. Since the room is too small for a sofa, Casey has wanted a nice cozy loveseat for herself and her baby to cuddle in.
So right there, just a few pieces from the door was a cozy overstuffed loveseat. My living room has a rose carpet and I use sage, beige, and wine colors with it. It was sage. Nice fat arms so she could lay her head on them comfortably, and the baby can tuck into the corner. Little indentations at the ends for her head. Very VERY comfortable-looking. Then I started to jiggle it to make sure it was as sturdy as it looks...and it ROCKS! She can even rock Leelan on it! Amazing, I couldn't have ordered one more perfect!
Something else I needed: a table for my keyboard. It's sitting on a table that my mom gave me but my sister needs back to complete a set. It's about 2" too high anyway, for comfortable playing, at 29". I measured it so that I could try to find the right height this time...but of course then I forgot to bring my tape measure. When I saw a table that would be ideal (not only the right size, but sturdy, and has casters!), I realized I had no way to measure it. But for $15 I thought I'd get it anyway since it was perfect in every other way...got it home, and guess what? It's 27" high!
Also needed a small table or very small desk for the new (used) computer I just got to use with my keyboard, that would fit in the small area next to it. Yup, found it. A rather large, taller-than-normal end table. Perfect, without taking up too much space. Perfect color of wood too, it blends right in.
And I didn't have any hope at all of finding a stool to use with whatever table I'd find. But there it was, right at the end of the aisle, a good sturdy, strong stool...with a wine-colored seat that matches my other living room accents!
I was hoping to find just one of the things I needed...but found all 4, and it was like every single one of them was made specifically for the purpose I needed it for, and in the perfect sizes and colors!
The loveseat, being used, had some small blemishes on the seat and on the back, nothing too worrisome but I thought a twin sheet would cover it. On the other side of the store, where the household items are, I glanced quickly at the twin flat sheets, and there it was: a beige sheet with a rose, wine, and sage colored subtle floral pattern! No WAY! For 75c I snatched it up!
We also, of course, looked at the toys. A couple of days ago Casey mentioned that she wanted to get Leelan one of those big floor toys that, when you step on different places, it plays music. Well, they had one there. A nicer one than I've ever seen, very colorful, lots of different instruments represented, etc. In like-new condition. So I grabbed it. For a buck.
On the way out, a chopper, like I use for herbs and things. Since mine just developed a crack in the lid I've had in the back of my mind that "sometime I'll have to get another one". There was a very nice one on the shelf, a Cuisinart which is much better than my previous $10 Walmart special, for $2.50. That completed my purchases.
I love shopping with God :). He always makes my paths straight and supplies my needs, but today He just made it really obvious!
So we got to St. V's right after they opened. I walked in the door to the furniture side of the building and saw it right away: the loveseat of my dreams. Actually it is for Casey, as the chairs in our living room aren't made for lounging in and cuddling a baby. Small living room, the 2 recliners that Pete and I sit in, and 2 other "company chairs"...when Casey moved back home there wasn't a cozy chair for her. Since the room is too small for a sofa, Casey has wanted a nice cozy loveseat for herself and her baby to cuddle in.
So right there, just a few pieces from the door was a cozy overstuffed loveseat. My living room has a rose carpet and I use sage, beige, and wine colors with it. It was sage. Nice fat arms so she could lay her head on them comfortably, and the baby can tuck into the corner. Little indentations at the ends for her head. Very VERY comfortable-looking. Then I started to jiggle it to make sure it was as sturdy as it looks...and it ROCKS! She can even rock Leelan on it! Amazing, I couldn't have ordered one more perfect!
Something else I needed: a table for my keyboard. It's sitting on a table that my mom gave me but my sister needs back to complete a set. It's about 2" too high anyway, for comfortable playing, at 29". I measured it so that I could try to find the right height this time...but of course then I forgot to bring my tape measure. When I saw a table that would be ideal (not only the right size, but sturdy, and has casters!), I realized I had no way to measure it. But for $15 I thought I'd get it anyway since it was perfect in every other way...got it home, and guess what? It's 27" high!
Also needed a small table or very small desk for the new (used) computer I just got to use with my keyboard, that would fit in the small area next to it. Yup, found it. A rather large, taller-than-normal end table. Perfect, without taking up too much space. Perfect color of wood too, it blends right in.
And I didn't have any hope at all of finding a stool to use with whatever table I'd find. But there it was, right at the end of the aisle, a good sturdy, strong stool...with a wine-colored seat that matches my other living room accents!
I was hoping to find just one of the things I needed...but found all 4, and it was like every single one of them was made specifically for the purpose I needed it for, and in the perfect sizes and colors!
The loveseat, being used, had some small blemishes on the seat and on the back, nothing too worrisome but I thought a twin sheet would cover it. On the other side of the store, where the household items are, I glanced quickly at the twin flat sheets, and there it was: a beige sheet with a rose, wine, and sage colored subtle floral pattern! No WAY! For 75c I snatched it up!
We also, of course, looked at the toys. A couple of days ago Casey mentioned that she wanted to get Leelan one of those big floor toys that, when you step on different places, it plays music. Well, they had one there. A nicer one than I've ever seen, very colorful, lots of different instruments represented, etc. In like-new condition. So I grabbed it. For a buck.
On the way out, a chopper, like I use for herbs and things. Since mine just developed a crack in the lid I've had in the back of my mind that "sometime I'll have to get another one". There was a very nice one on the shelf, a Cuisinart which is much better than my previous $10 Walmart special, for $2.50. That completed my purchases.
I love shopping with God :). He always makes my paths straight and supplies my needs, but today He just made it really obvious!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Some Nice Little Cookies (low carb recipe)
Yesterday I wanted something light and not too sweet to have with coffee so I went to my kitchen to create something from what I had on hand. This recipe gave me about 6 dozen delightful little delicate cookies that filled the bill perfectly!
1 stick butter, softened
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/4c xylitol
1/2t salt
1/2c SF vanilla syrup
2c almond flour
1/4c polydextrose
1/4c coconut flour
whip together butter and cream cheese until creamy; whip in xylitol and
salt; add vanilla syrup and whip until well-blended. Add almond flour,
polydex, and coconut flour, and blend well.
dough will be light if it has been well-whipped. (I didn't even use the
paddle, just stuck with the whip in my mixer.) Scoop onto sprayed cookie
sheet in walnut-sized spoonfuls, bake @ 350 JUST until the edges start to
brown; remove from oven and let stand on cookie sheet for a few minutes
before removing, as they are light and delicate will break apart unless
given time to pull together; once they're a little "tighter" you can remove
them to finish cooling.
Do not seal up to store, they become too moist; I left these on a platter, open, on the counter last night and they're still very moist and good - sealing them up they would have been wet by morning.
I didn't do the math and figure up the carb count but it's around 30gN for the whole recipe. If you want/need to be more exact, http://www.ars.usda.gov/Services/docs.htm?docid=17032
1 stick butter, softened
4 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/4c xylitol
1/2t salt
1/2c SF vanilla syrup
2c almond flour
1/4c polydextrose
1/4c coconut flour
whip together butter and cream cheese until creamy; whip in xylitol and
salt; add vanilla syrup and whip until well-blended. Add almond flour,
polydex, and coconut flour, and blend well.
dough will be light if it has been well-whipped. (I didn't even use the
paddle, just stuck with the whip in my mixer.) Scoop onto sprayed cookie
sheet in walnut-sized spoonfuls, bake @ 350 JUST until the edges start to
brown; remove from oven and let stand on cookie sheet for a few minutes
before removing, as they are light and delicate will break apart unless
given time to pull together; once they're a little "tighter" you can remove
them to finish cooling.
Do not seal up to store, they become too moist; I left these on a platter, open, on the counter last night and they're still very moist and good - sealing them up they would have been wet by morning.
I didn't do the math and figure up the carb count but it's around 30gN for the whole recipe. If you want/need to be more exact, http://www.ars.usda.gov/Services/docs.htm?docid=17032
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
My N810: A Love Story
N8. For those who don't know, he is my Nokia N810 Internet Tablet. Approximately the same size as my old Tungsten E Palm Pilot, he has definitely become my constant companion and side-kick. Why? That's what I want to write about...
First, he accesses the internet anyplace there is wifi - which is almost anyplace at all, anymore. I can check my email/write emails, go to my facebook or twitter pages, check my RSS feeds, do my blogging, grab podcasts, and nearly anything else that I do online with my laptop.
Second, and this is related to the first, I watch YouTube videos. There is a fantastic app called MyTube that will find videos on any given keyword, play them, or download them. I can watch praise and worship videos, lowcarb cooking demos, Tim Hawkins skits, or whatever else suits my fancy - or I can download them to watch later at my leisure - all with the same app! In fact, I've grabbed quite a few videos for my 4MO grandson to watch, and wherever we are if he gets fussy or bored, he can watch the Blooples (which he loves!) or Hillsong Kids.
Third, I can communicate. Not only via email, social sites, and chats, but also make phone calls. No, N8 is not a phone, but between Skype and Google Voice I can make calls to anybody I want to, whenever I'm on wifi (which is 90% of the time). And, with Google Voice, I can SMS to cell phones without paying for text messaging with my cell phone service!
Fourth - MUSIC! I can play any internet radio station, anytime I want music. (Current favorites: WBGL, SmileFM, or Northern Christian Radio.) I can play mp3's so it's like I have my CDs with me all the time.
Fifth, I listen to music on N8 (yes, he sings to me!) as I'm going to sleep at night and since he has an alarm clock, I have eliminated the clock-radio on my nightstand and freed up a lot of space - plus one less thing to dust!
Sixth, he imitates my Palm Pilot, which is one of the things I sold in order to buy him. Using the GarnetVM app, he looks and acts just like my Palm did! I've got the same games and apps that I use to love, even though I no longer have my Palm!
Seventh, he imitates my Zune, which is another of the things I sold in order to buy N8. My Zune contained photos, mp3's, and videos - now on N8. My Zune also played local FM radio stations - N8 plays an unlimited number of internet radio stations, including the locals ones I listed above!
Eighth, he keeps me from getting lost. The GPS is magnificent! I don't drive anymore, so I don't really get lost :) but I track where my husband is going, and save the routes so that we can get there again. All of my favorite spots are marked on the map. In our drives, if we find a spot we want to revisit, we can take a photo of it using the GPSCamera, and it not only saves the photo for a visual reference, but notes the coordinates as part of the jpg information file! Not only that, but his built-in compass keeps me from getting all turned around (as I often do)!
Ninth, and speaking of photos, he is a camera. This is, admittedly, his weakest area, if having quality photos is important to you. The camera is on the same side of the screen, as he was built for video conferencing. I didn't buy him with any illusions that he would replace my digital camera; therefore I wasn't disappointed. However, it definitely comes in handy as mentioned above, or if I just want to snap a quick photo of something when my digital camera isn't around, or need a quick pic for whatever reason. And I have discovered that it isn't a big deal that I can't see what I'm shooting easily...with a little practice I've developed decent aim.
Tenth: He saves me money. LOTS of it. I used to read magazines a lot, and would purchase at least 3 every week. Now I read blogs or comics or articles or eBooks or whatever online in all the places and at all the times I used to read the magazines. Also, he saves me cell phone minutes. Making the calls I used to make (and receive) on my cell phone is allowing me to change to a much cheaper plan. Just these 2 things are over $100/month!
Eleventh: He tells me the weather - crucial to my job - every morning when I get out of bed; it's right there on his face, I don't even have to go looking for it. And it's updated continually, so at a glance, all day every day, I know the forecasts.
Twelfth: He helps me in the kitchen - which also saves money! When I saw an online recipe I wanted to try, I could either make room on my limited counter space for my laptop, or print the recipe. Now I don't use ink or paper, N8's delicate little footprint takes up almost no room, and I can easily see the recipes. Plus, I can store my own favorite recipes!
Thirteenth, I no longer have to carry a Bible to church, or anywhere else. Not only do I have several Bible versions at my fingertips with N8, but also reference and study materials. I have the Word with me everywhere I go, easily accessible and compact! No WAY could I carry around the number of books for the same information that's in N8!
Fourteenth, he is my photo album. I have my photos with me at all times. No more pulling out a big stack of photos from my purse whenever I want to show off pictures of my grandson. Nope, just a couple of clicks and there he is in all his precious glory! I can now amuse friends and family alike with tons of pictures of my parrots and my dogs...and play background music for them at the same time!
I am sure there is more that I am forgetting, and I know that this is already quite long, but I did want to quickly mention N8's shortcomings. Yes, he has them, don't we all? I already mentioned that the camera isn't a great camera, but that's not really a shortcoming since it isn't intended to be. He's not a phone, but that's not really a shortcoming since he never claimed to be. He's a little slow getting his initial GPS fix, but not as slow as my husband's handheld GPS, and also some programs that use the GPS seem to find it faster than others. (Plus he finds a lot more satellites than my husband's unit does!)
Memory is probably a shortcoming, or was to me at first, but it's fixable so maybe that's not a shortcoming either. When I first got N8 he had a measly 256MB for loading programs. Having no experience with any form of Linux, and having to format his internal memory (no, it's not called a hard drive - something else I had to get used to), then partition, then clone...it took me 3 days to work it all out. (Hmmm, maybe "the learning curve" should be the biggest shortcoming?) OTOH, my husband, who recently purchased one for himself, did it in an hour or so. There is an app that is made for people like us to help us with the task, it worked well for my husband, so maybe it's me that has the shortcoming - lol.
There is definitely a learning curve. Still, most things are made really user-friendly, like the installation of programs from the maemo.org or Nokia sites. And there are wonderful tutorials at the Internet Tablet School on most things the casual users need to do. The maemo.org site has a wealth of information, more than anywhere else I've found, although there are pockets of information all over the place that can be unearthed with a good search engine.
Still, given that the screen is bright enough for my poor vision (the reason I can no longer drive) to read the small print - or I can enlarge it with the touch of a button...that he contains the web, email, chat clients, RSS feeds and other functions of the internet, VoIP phone, GPS, camera (basic though it is), mp3 player, photo album, video player, alarm clock, cookbook, TV (via Hava or streaming stations), calendar, games, note-taker, address book, palm apps...He's replaced, in many cases, my alarm clock, my stacks of magazines, the GPS unit, my cell phone, my Palm, my Zune, photo albums, an mp3 player, Bibles & reference materials, cookbooks, my laptop computer...
And there are many more things that I haven't even delved into yet, such a live streaming, running Android, hooking up memory sticks for almost limitless memory (I have the adapter and the USBControl app installed, just haven't done it yet), using him for geocaching, instant messaging, IRC...
Definitely, N8 has become a huge part of my daily life, and while I type "A Love Story" with tongue in cheek, it's not really all that far from the truth :).
First, he accesses the internet anyplace there is wifi - which is almost anyplace at all, anymore. I can check my email/write emails, go to my facebook or twitter pages, check my RSS feeds, do my blogging, grab podcasts, and nearly anything else that I do online with my laptop.
Second, and this is related to the first, I watch YouTube videos. There is a fantastic app called MyTube that will find videos on any given keyword, play them, or download them. I can watch praise and worship videos, lowcarb cooking demos, Tim Hawkins skits, or whatever else suits my fancy - or I can download them to watch later at my leisure - all with the same app! In fact, I've grabbed quite a few videos for my 4MO grandson to watch, and wherever we are if he gets fussy or bored, he can watch the Blooples (which he loves!) or Hillsong Kids.
Third, I can communicate. Not only via email, social sites, and chats, but also make phone calls. No, N8 is not a phone, but between Skype and Google Voice I can make calls to anybody I want to, whenever I'm on wifi (which is 90% of the time). And, with Google Voice, I can SMS to cell phones without paying for text messaging with my cell phone service!
Fourth - MUSIC! I can play any internet radio station, anytime I want music. (Current favorites: WBGL, SmileFM, or Northern Christian Radio.) I can play mp3's so it's like I have my CDs with me all the time.
Fifth, I listen to music on N8 (yes, he sings to me!) as I'm going to sleep at night and since he has an alarm clock, I have eliminated the clock-radio on my nightstand and freed up a lot of space - plus one less thing to dust!
Sixth, he imitates my Palm Pilot, which is one of the things I sold in order to buy him. Using the GarnetVM app, he looks and acts just like my Palm did! I've got the same games and apps that I use to love, even though I no longer have my Palm!
Seventh, he imitates my Zune, which is another of the things I sold in order to buy N8. My Zune contained photos, mp3's, and videos - now on N8. My Zune also played local FM radio stations - N8 plays an unlimited number of internet radio stations, including the locals ones I listed above!
Eighth, he keeps me from getting lost. The GPS is magnificent! I don't drive anymore, so I don't really get lost :) but I track where my husband is going, and save the routes so that we can get there again. All of my favorite spots are marked on the map. In our drives, if we find a spot we want to revisit, we can take a photo of it using the GPSCamera, and it not only saves the photo for a visual reference, but notes the coordinates as part of the jpg information file! Not only that, but his built-in compass keeps me from getting all turned around (as I often do)!
Ninth, and speaking of photos, he is a camera. This is, admittedly, his weakest area, if having quality photos is important to you. The camera is on the same side of the screen, as he was built for video conferencing. I didn't buy him with any illusions that he would replace my digital camera; therefore I wasn't disappointed. However, it definitely comes in handy as mentioned above, or if I just want to snap a quick photo of something when my digital camera isn't around, or need a quick pic for whatever reason. And I have discovered that it isn't a big deal that I can't see what I'm shooting easily...with a little practice I've developed decent aim.
Tenth: He saves me money. LOTS of it. I used to read magazines a lot, and would purchase at least 3 every week. Now I read blogs or comics or articles or eBooks or whatever online in all the places and at all the times I used to read the magazines. Also, he saves me cell phone minutes. Making the calls I used to make (and receive) on my cell phone is allowing me to change to a much cheaper plan. Just these 2 things are over $100/month!
Eleventh: He tells me the weather - crucial to my job - every morning when I get out of bed; it's right there on his face, I don't even have to go looking for it. And it's updated continually, so at a glance, all day every day, I know the forecasts.
Twelfth: He helps me in the kitchen - which also saves money! When I saw an online recipe I wanted to try, I could either make room on my limited counter space for my laptop, or print the recipe. Now I don't use ink or paper, N8's delicate little footprint takes up almost no room, and I can easily see the recipes. Plus, I can store my own favorite recipes!
Thirteenth, I no longer have to carry a Bible to church, or anywhere else. Not only do I have several Bible versions at my fingertips with N8, but also reference and study materials. I have the Word with me everywhere I go, easily accessible and compact! No WAY could I carry around the number of books for the same information that's in N8!
Fourteenth, he is my photo album. I have my photos with me at all times. No more pulling out a big stack of photos from my purse whenever I want to show off pictures of my grandson. Nope, just a couple of clicks and there he is in all his precious glory! I can now amuse friends and family alike with tons of pictures of my parrots and my dogs...and play background music for them at the same time!
I am sure there is more that I am forgetting, and I know that this is already quite long, but I did want to quickly mention N8's shortcomings. Yes, he has them, don't we all? I already mentioned that the camera isn't a great camera, but that's not really a shortcoming since it isn't intended to be. He's not a phone, but that's not really a shortcoming since he never claimed to be. He's a little slow getting his initial GPS fix, but not as slow as my husband's handheld GPS, and also some programs that use the GPS seem to find it faster than others. (Plus he finds a lot more satellites than my husband's unit does!)
Memory is probably a shortcoming, or was to me at first, but it's fixable so maybe that's not a shortcoming either. When I first got N8 he had a measly 256MB for loading programs. Having no experience with any form of Linux, and having to format his internal memory (no, it's not called a hard drive - something else I had to get used to), then partition, then clone...it took me 3 days to work it all out. (Hmmm, maybe "the learning curve" should be the biggest shortcoming?) OTOH, my husband, who recently purchased one for himself, did it in an hour or so. There is an app that is made for people like us to help us with the task, it worked well for my husband, so maybe it's me that has the shortcoming - lol.
There is definitely a learning curve. Still, most things are made really user-friendly, like the installation of programs from the maemo.org or Nokia sites. And there are wonderful tutorials at the Internet Tablet School on most things the casual users need to do. The maemo.org site has a wealth of information, more than anywhere else I've found, although there are pockets of information all over the place that can be unearthed with a good search engine.
Still, given that the screen is bright enough for my poor vision (the reason I can no longer drive) to read the small print - or I can enlarge it with the touch of a button...that he contains the web, email, chat clients, RSS feeds and other functions of the internet, VoIP phone, GPS, camera (basic though it is), mp3 player, photo album, video player, alarm clock, cookbook, TV (via Hava or streaming stations), calendar, games, note-taker, address book, palm apps...He's replaced, in many cases, my alarm clock, my stacks of magazines, the GPS unit, my cell phone, my Palm, my Zune, photo albums, an mp3 player, Bibles & reference materials, cookbooks, my laptop computer...
And there are many more things that I haven't even delved into yet, such a live streaming, running Android, hooking up memory sticks for almost limitless memory (I have the adapter and the USBControl app installed, just haven't done it yet), using him for geocaching, instant messaging, IRC...
Definitely, N8 has become a huge part of my daily life, and while I type "A Love Story" with tongue in cheek, it's not really all that far from the truth :).
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Sheila's Wifey Wednesday
Today's blog entry was one of my favorites.
There are some of us who wear Past Marriage lenses. Having an intimate relationship with an assumed-to-be lifelong husband carves special places in our hearts. When that relationship ends, for whatever reason, those places don't just disappear, but remain a part of us. Then, when another marriage happens in the future, there is another husband vying for that same space - the "marriage space" I think of it - in our hearts.
The main effect of this is that we tend to expect that our husband will conform to the same space left behind, and act upon that expectation, then are confused, hurt, or even angry when he doesn't behave as we expected.
I compare these carved out spaces in our hearts to rivulets of water, running down the beach after a hard rain. The first relationship has tunneled out areas in the sand, and during a subsequent rain, we fully expect to see the water run through the same carved out places. But, while it may share some of those spaces, it also carves out new paths. And in the end, we have more special places in our hearts; with time, perhaps so many more that the old ones are rarely used anymore.
As second-time wives, I think we need to be focusing on these new spaces, rather than expecting the rain to always and only use the ones left from before. We need to ask God to help us give us a fresh eye to see the differences, and to appreciate them, to take off the lenses from the past and see our husbands as they are, not as another had been.
There are some of us who wear Past Marriage lenses. Having an intimate relationship with an assumed-to-be lifelong husband carves special places in our hearts. When that relationship ends, for whatever reason, those places don't just disappear, but remain a part of us. Then, when another marriage happens in the future, there is another husband vying for that same space - the "marriage space" I think of it - in our hearts.
The main effect of this is that we tend to expect that our husband will conform to the same space left behind, and act upon that expectation, then are confused, hurt, or even angry when he doesn't behave as we expected.
I compare these carved out spaces in our hearts to rivulets of water, running down the beach after a hard rain. The first relationship has tunneled out areas in the sand, and during a subsequent rain, we fully expect to see the water run through the same carved out places. But, while it may share some of those spaces, it also carves out new paths. And in the end, we have more special places in our hearts; with time, perhaps so many more that the old ones are rarely used anymore.
As second-time wives, I think we need to be focusing on these new spaces, rather than expecting the rain to always and only use the ones left from before. We need to ask God to help us give us a fresh eye to see the differences, and to appreciate them, to take off the lenses from the past and see our husbands as they are, not as another had been.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Bruce the Cat
I've had Bruce for 15 years. He came to us at the age of 7 months with the name Keith - dumb name for a cat, so I changed it - and was supposed to be my daughter's cat. She was 3 at the time, and their love was mutual. He put up with more from her than even *I* would. He's always had his claws, but never used them on a person.
Bruce has been with me through 3 husbands, and lived in 6 houses with us. He's travelled throughout the southern and eastern United States in my minivan, and stayed in countless hotels. He's been gentle, mannerly, sweet, and affectionate - unless someone tries to kiss him. Then all bets are off.
Friday and Saturday hubby and I were out of town, and my 18YO daughter was caring for the animals. She didn't notice anything amiss with Bruce, but he is older and does sleep alot. Saturday evening we arrived home and he was in his box (with his pillow and blanket, up on a dresser in the bathroom away from the dogs) as he often is these days. But by Sunday we noticed something was very wrong with him. VERY wrong.
Hubby woke up to a pile of undigested cat food, and a half-dozen puddles of foamy yellow vomit. And it didn't stop. All day he would vomit until it was just drops of clear liquid...
He couldn't jump onto his dresser. In fact, he didn't want to move at all. When we touched him, or even spoke to him, he cried - a pitiful, heart-rending cry. He growled at me for the first time in his life. He spent the day hiding in corners, his movements slow and labored. His hair didn't lay right. He kept his ears at half mast. He couldn't stand light, or touch, or sound.
To my eyes, he was a dying cat.
Yet, most of the day he didn't seem to be in pain or suffering, unless disturbed. He slept quietly, his breathing even and slow. I fully expected that he would simply not wake up at some point. Because he wasn't in horrible pain except when disturbed, I elected to wait until Monday to take him to the vet, since I would be able to watch him all day on Sunday, and could rush him if I needed to. I wanted to avoid the jostling and agony of a car ride and exam...
Monday I started work at 9:00. No change in Bruce. I work at home, taking calls for a pest control company, from 9-5:00. Bruce still was comfortable when left alone, so I decided to see what the day would hold. I opened a can of tuna, well aware that the majority of cats who stop eating never start again. He lapped the water from the top of the meat. That, to me, was a very slight sign of hope.
By Monday evening though, I knew that I was losing my precious cat. There was no change, and his misery when he moved was just as awful as it had been all along. I called a local vet, ready to have him put out of his misery, realizing he was an old cat, and it was just his time...
However the vet had a meeting and couldn't help me until later. In addition, the cost was more than I had at the time, so I knew I'd have to wait until this morning. I know not to give pain relievers to cats, but my sister suggested perhaps benedryl; if nothing else, it might help him sleep through the night. So I gave him half of a pill...
During the night I got up to check on Bruce. When I came out of my bedroom, he was sitting in the hallway - his usual night-time spot to keep watch on the goings-on in the house - as he always had. I said, "Well hello, Bruce!" and he answered with his normal greeting. I bent down to touch him, and he didn't cry out. I talked to him for a few minutes, then went back to bed.
When I got up this morning he was walking around. Slowly, but walking around just the same. I heard him use his litter box. He dug into a can of tuna. He looked into our eyes, holding his head up high, and talked to us. His fur and ears looked normal again. I sent hubby to the store for canned cat food, and we gave him a Tbsp every hour or so, so that he wouldn't start vomiting again. After a couple of feedings he was walking around the house. A little slow, but walking around. When we spoke to him, he spoke back. He didn't mind being touched, or even picked up. He voraciously ate his offerings of canned cat food. An hour or so ago, he rubbed against my leg when I went into his bathroom.
So what happened to Bruce? We have our guesses...
We live in a heavily-treed, woodsy area in northern lower Michigan. Typically I have the house treated outside every spring for wasps, spiders, and earwigs, especially since I've had 2 spiders bites that sent me to the ER - we have some of the nastiest spiders I've ever seen. But this year, we wanted to try and save our lovely dragonflies that seem to also disappear after treatment, so we didn't have it done. This morning my husband killed 2 spiders in the house.
Bruce has always been strictly a house cat. But he's still a cat, and hunting is still instinctive. We now think that he hunted a spider, probably the same kind that caused such a horrible reaction in me. And we think he got bitten, or ate, one of these nasty spiders. And that is why, after a dose of Benedryl, he perked up. We're only guessing...
We will never know for sure what happened to Bruce, but we are SO SO SO thankful to have our Brucie-boy back!
Bruce has been with me through 3 husbands, and lived in 6 houses with us. He's travelled throughout the southern and eastern United States in my minivan, and stayed in countless hotels. He's been gentle, mannerly, sweet, and affectionate - unless someone tries to kiss him. Then all bets are off.
Friday and Saturday hubby and I were out of town, and my 18YO daughter was caring for the animals. She didn't notice anything amiss with Bruce, but he is older and does sleep alot. Saturday evening we arrived home and he was in his box (with his pillow and blanket, up on a dresser in the bathroom away from the dogs) as he often is these days. But by Sunday we noticed something was very wrong with him. VERY wrong.
Hubby woke up to a pile of undigested cat food, and a half-dozen puddles of foamy yellow vomit. And it didn't stop. All day he would vomit until it was just drops of clear liquid...
He couldn't jump onto his dresser. In fact, he didn't want to move at all. When we touched him, or even spoke to him, he cried - a pitiful, heart-rending cry. He growled at me for the first time in his life. He spent the day hiding in corners, his movements slow and labored. His hair didn't lay right. He kept his ears at half mast. He couldn't stand light, or touch, or sound.
To my eyes, he was a dying cat.
Yet, most of the day he didn't seem to be in pain or suffering, unless disturbed. He slept quietly, his breathing even and slow. I fully expected that he would simply not wake up at some point. Because he wasn't in horrible pain except when disturbed, I elected to wait until Monday to take him to the vet, since I would be able to watch him all day on Sunday, and could rush him if I needed to. I wanted to avoid the jostling and agony of a car ride and exam...
Monday I started work at 9:00. No change in Bruce. I work at home, taking calls for a pest control company, from 9-5:00. Bruce still was comfortable when left alone, so I decided to see what the day would hold. I opened a can of tuna, well aware that the majority of cats who stop eating never start again. He lapped the water from the top of the meat. That, to me, was a very slight sign of hope.
By Monday evening though, I knew that I was losing my precious cat. There was no change, and his misery when he moved was just as awful as it had been all along. I called a local vet, ready to have him put out of his misery, realizing he was an old cat, and it was just his time...
However the vet had a meeting and couldn't help me until later. In addition, the cost was more than I had at the time, so I knew I'd have to wait until this morning. I know not to give pain relievers to cats, but my sister suggested perhaps benedryl; if nothing else, it might help him sleep through the night. So I gave him half of a pill...
During the night I got up to check on Bruce. When I came out of my bedroom, he was sitting in the hallway - his usual night-time spot to keep watch on the goings-on in the house - as he always had. I said, "Well hello, Bruce!" and he answered with his normal greeting. I bent down to touch him, and he didn't cry out. I talked to him for a few minutes, then went back to bed.
When I got up this morning he was walking around. Slowly, but walking around just the same. I heard him use his litter box. He dug into a can of tuna. He looked into our eyes, holding his head up high, and talked to us. His fur and ears looked normal again. I sent hubby to the store for canned cat food, and we gave him a Tbsp every hour or so, so that he wouldn't start vomiting again. After a couple of feedings he was walking around the house. A little slow, but walking around. When we spoke to him, he spoke back. He didn't mind being touched, or even picked up. He voraciously ate his offerings of canned cat food. An hour or so ago, he rubbed against my leg when I went into his bathroom.
So what happened to Bruce? We have our guesses...
We live in a heavily-treed, woodsy area in northern lower Michigan. Typically I have the house treated outside every spring for wasps, spiders, and earwigs, especially since I've had 2 spiders bites that sent me to the ER - we have some of the nastiest spiders I've ever seen. But this year, we wanted to try and save our lovely dragonflies that seem to also disappear after treatment, so we didn't have it done. This morning my husband killed 2 spiders in the house.
Bruce has always been strictly a house cat. But he's still a cat, and hunting is still instinctive. We now think that he hunted a spider, probably the same kind that caused such a horrible reaction in me. And we think he got bitten, or ate, one of these nasty spiders. And that is why, after a dose of Benedryl, he perked up. We're only guessing...
We will never know for sure what happened to Bruce, but we are SO SO SO thankful to have our Brucie-boy back!
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