I'm sorry, I can't wrap my head around the "muscle pull" diagnosis that I came home from the hospital with. It makes no sense to me whatsoever. I couldn't BREATHE for heaven's sake! Pressure around my ribs...anyway, none of it makes sense. It has been suggested that perhaps my muscles are being used so differently due to the rearranging of my guts and how I move and hold my body since the pain and bloating are gone, compared to before with the constant pain. This may hold a little more water, but there is another theory - not put forth by the doctor - that makes more sense.
My friend Connie suggested this could be part of a detox, something that doctors don't acknowledge or discuss. I have been losing weight quickly, releasing toxins stored in body fat, plus I gave up caffeine cold turkey the day before my surgery on December 1st, plus I was on so many heavy-duty painkillers through much of December that were trying to get out of my system...this makes a lot of sense also, that getting rid of all of the effects and toxins from caffeine and drugs and whatever is being left as the fat is going - well, wherever fat goes.
Since I have been out of the hospital, the dyspnea has been improving. However, my chest still feels pressure, and tight inside, like I can't take a deep breath. I can, but it feels like I can't, and there is tightness when I do. And I have to push and force out the last of the air. And I am fatigued. And I have pain around my ribs.
Today I had a fundoplication-related issue. Drank some chocolate milk, and the pain was horrible! My stomach wanted to sent it back but since the surgery nothing can come back up. I was near tears, and there's nothing to do. I took a Zofran but how can I tell if it helped? It didn't give me relief, but maybe kept it from being even worse...but that was one miserable half-hour.
And today I started with a UTI as well. I'm drinking tons of water (and a little decaf tea)...taking cranberry (3000 mg every few hours)...taking OTC phenazopyridine hydrochloride tablets...but it has been miserable, as only those who have suffered from these can understand.
Between all of the above, I just feel like a sick person. I thought by this time, over 5 weeks post op, I would be feeling better than I have in years, not like a sick person. But I want to go to bed and sleep until it is all fixed and better and I can feel and act and BE healthy...
The black depression seems to have started lifting. It started to lift, oddly enough, in the hospital. I have some theories as to why, but they're probably wrong anyway. I have felt, for the last few days, merely "blue" which is an improvement over "black". I even played my keyboard today, the first time I have actually wanted to play, or felt inspired to play, in weeks. And I'm starting to feel I want to get back to cooking and creating in my kitchen. I have a ways to go to get back to joy, but it will come, if this path continues. God is hearing the prayers of those who are interceding for me, and my own.
And now I'm going to make another post, about Sleepee...
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
It is good to be home again. Had a lovely #lowcarb breakfast of b/s chicken breast strips cooked in olive oil just until cooked through and very tender, seasoned with onion/garlic powders and sea salt, with melted havarti on top. Then I scraped all the crispy bits off the bottom of the skillet and sprinkled them on top...SO good!The hospital food wasn't bad, but they are all about low-fat, low-sodium and even the "low carb" staples are carby. I ordered a cream soup for one meal - guess what? It wasn't thickened with cream :(. Misnomer there...Anyway, I know what I am getting at home, and it is delicious and filling and lovely. Will blog later about my hospital stay at http://chiachatter.blogspot.com and about the food aspects of my stay at http://cheapeasylowcarb.blogspot com. http://amplify.com/u/bkqam
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
So...Dangit!
(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)
Here's my update. After spending 6 hours in the ER getting morphine for "chest pain" I was admitted. I came in because I can't catch my breath, and there is a band of tightness or pressure around my rib cage. I have pain that waxes and wanes but it isn't my chief complaint - or even any complaint. But they seem focused on "chest pain" - once they see a history of cardiac issues they zoom right in on that, and don't seem to hear me when I tell them this type of pain feels like it is from this band of pressure, and is nothing like any angina I've ever had. It has been determined that I have chest pain and nothing I can say is changing that. That I can't catch my breath unless I've got O2 flowing up my nostrils seems to be an unwelcome distraction to them.
All of my tests have come back fine. Tomorrow will be a lot more tests, mostly cardiac but I will also have to repeat a test that is related to my fundoplication that was the most miserable awful test I've ever had. I have to take about 8 swallows of the most vile awful evil liquid ever devised and have pictures taken after each one. I'm not sure why my gut surgeon is involved since everything is going really well, digestively speaking. But he is and I am glad that they are looking into all possible causes, even if they seem determined to look at the wrong problem.
I'm having issues with the "heart healthy" diet they have me on, that is totally opposite to what I have eaten for the last nearly-7 years, that has gotten my blood lipids back into normal ranges and has kept my blood sugar normal and on a good path. Both of these issues they keep asking me about, and can't seem to believe that this overweight middle-aged woman doesn't have high cholesterol (as defined by bad science) and diabetes. The nurse told me that my blood lipids would be checked in the morning to determine if I need statins. I told her that I will not be taking statins, and she reiterated that we don't know if I will need them or not. I will save that particular "battle" for after the results come back since that will be a moot point. At another hospital I was put onto a statin drug. I asked for my blood results and they were totally fine, yet the doctor argued with me that I needed to be on a statin due to my "risk factors" - ie, a high-fat diet, age, and weight. The way the medical profession thinks is way beyond me...but I never took their drug then and won't now
So back to the "heart healthy" diet. I will become a diabetic if I have to stay on this for very long. No fats, lots of carbs as both sugars and starches. It is infuriating, and if I'm not discharged tomorrow, the doctor and I will have to revisit the diet that he ordered for me. I am pretty much decided that I can get through a day or 2 without eating any of it, if my options remain limited to unhealthy foods.
But mainly, I want to know why I am short of breath whenever my O2 is off. That is not the goal of the hospitalist that is handling my case (and must be all of about 17 years old!), but it is mine. Make it so I can breathe as well as I was breathing 48 yours ago, and send me home. And I will be a happy camper :)
Here's my update. After spending 6 hours in the ER getting morphine for "chest pain" I was admitted. I came in because I can't catch my breath, and there is a band of tightness or pressure around my rib cage. I have pain that waxes and wanes but it isn't my chief complaint - or even any complaint. But they seem focused on "chest pain" - once they see a history of cardiac issues they zoom right in on that, and don't seem to hear me when I tell them this type of pain feels like it is from this band of pressure, and is nothing like any angina I've ever had. It has been determined that I have chest pain and nothing I can say is changing that. That I can't catch my breath unless I've got O2 flowing up my nostrils seems to be an unwelcome distraction to them.
All of my tests have come back fine. Tomorrow will be a lot more tests, mostly cardiac but I will also have to repeat a test that is related to my fundoplication that was the most miserable awful test I've ever had. I have to take about 8 swallows of the most vile awful evil liquid ever devised and have pictures taken after each one. I'm not sure why my gut surgeon is involved since everything is going really well, digestively speaking. But he is and I am glad that they are looking into all possible causes, even if they seem determined to look at the wrong problem.
I'm having issues with the "heart healthy" diet they have me on, that is totally opposite to what I have eaten for the last nearly-7 years, that has gotten my blood lipids back into normal ranges and has kept my blood sugar normal and on a good path. Both of these issues they keep asking me about, and can't seem to believe that this overweight middle-aged woman doesn't have high cholesterol (as defined by bad science) and diabetes. The nurse told me that my blood lipids would be checked in the morning to determine if I need statins. I told her that I will not be taking statins, and she reiterated that we don't know if I will need them or not. I will save that particular "battle" for after the results come back since that will be a moot point. At another hospital I was put onto a statin drug. I asked for my blood results and they were totally fine, yet the doctor argued with me that I needed to be on a statin due to my "risk factors" - ie, a high-fat diet, age, and weight. The way the medical profession thinks is way beyond me...but I never took their drug then and won't now
So back to the "heart healthy" diet. I will become a diabetic if I have to stay on this for very long. No fats, lots of carbs as both sugars and starches. It is infuriating, and if I'm not discharged tomorrow, the doctor and I will have to revisit the diet that he ordered for me. I am pretty much decided that I can get through a day or 2 without eating any of it, if my options remain limited to unhealthy foods.
But mainly, I want to know why I am short of breath whenever my O2 is off. That is not the goal of the hospitalist that is handling my case (and must be all of about 17 years old!), but it is mine. Make it so I can breathe as well as I was breathing 48 yours ago, and send me home. And I will be a happy camper :)
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Jan 2nd...Not As I Planned
Today I have been short of breath all day, with some pressure/weight in my chest, and pain around my rib cage. Duration over 12 hours. Aspirin hasn't helped. I didn't take a sublingual nitro because it's not like any angina pain I've ever had. (I was diagnosed with prinzmetal's angina in 1997.) My sister is going to drive up here and take me to the ER. Hubby has to go to work, it is his 2nd night on his new job. The ER where I had the surgery is an hour away, that's where she wants to go. I will update when I know what's going on.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Dec.1 - Jan. 1 - The First Month
(NOTE: If you are seeing this on Facebook, please go to my blog - http://chiachatter.blogspot.com - to see my whole post. I don't make my points in the first paragraph, which is all that shows up on my Facebook page :).)
I've already written a lot here almost every day so there isn't much to write about, I just have 2 things, really.
First, I'm about 1/3 of the way through the 100 days. (The surgeon told me it will take a full year to recover completely, but the first 100 days will be "critical" and that I need to go easy on myself during this time. I interpret "go easy" as to rest when I get tired, don't push it when something causes pain, eat what is comfortable in my stomach and no more, and things like that.) I have periods of time when I feel almost normal and go about doing housewifely things and then suddenly I can't do one more thing and have to stop. Right then and there. I simply cannot continue whether or not I want to, or even need to. I'm anticipating that these next couple of months will find me gradually able to do more and more until that doesn't happen anymore.
And I have to once more bring up this depression. I described it to my husband yesterday like this: Yes, I can laugh at a joke, I can carry on a normal conversation, I can put smileys in my emails and FB updates (though I don't feel them these days, they are more like punctuation), I can make myself act and talk normally. I can feel happy about something - such as Pete's new job after all these months of unemployment - but underneath there is a blackness that doesn't go away. It is like a shiny red boat racing across the waves, the sun is shining brightly, the boat is bouncing happily across the lake...but underneath it the water is dark, black even, and icy cold. The boat may be bright and bouncy, but it is surrounded and supported wholly by something dark and cold and ready to devour it at any minute. That is how it is. Exactly.
I talk about my food choices and adapting and how this surgery has changed my diet in my other blog. Between what I've been posting here and there, I think I've given a pretty complete picture of how life has been as it pertains to the nissen fundoplication surgery, and hopefully it will be helpful to someone else who needs this surgery, or has had it and just wants to compare notes.
I've already written a lot here almost every day so there isn't much to write about, I just have 2 things, really.
First, I'm about 1/3 of the way through the 100 days. (The surgeon told me it will take a full year to recover completely, but the first 100 days will be "critical" and that I need to go easy on myself during this time. I interpret "go easy" as to rest when I get tired, don't push it when something causes pain, eat what is comfortable in my stomach and no more, and things like that.) I have periods of time when I feel almost normal and go about doing housewifely things and then suddenly I can't do one more thing and have to stop. Right then and there. I simply cannot continue whether or not I want to, or even need to. I'm anticipating that these next couple of months will find me gradually able to do more and more until that doesn't happen anymore.
And I have to once more bring up this depression. I described it to my husband yesterday like this: Yes, I can laugh at a joke, I can carry on a normal conversation, I can put smileys in my emails and FB updates (though I don't feel them these days, they are more like punctuation), I can make myself act and talk normally. I can feel happy about something - such as Pete's new job after all these months of unemployment - but underneath there is a blackness that doesn't go away. It is like a shiny red boat racing across the waves, the sun is shining brightly, the boat is bouncing happily across the lake...but underneath it the water is dark, black even, and icy cold. The boat may be bright and bouncy, but it is surrounded and supported wholly by something dark and cold and ready to devour it at any minute. That is how it is. Exactly.
I talk about my food choices and adapting and how this surgery has changed my diet in my other blog. Between what I've been posting here and there, I think I've given a pretty complete picture of how life has been as it pertains to the nissen fundoplication surgery, and hopefully it will be helpful to someone else who needs this surgery, or has had it and just wants to compare notes.
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